You Never Know

There are times when my behavior drifts to the bumptious side, so I have to admit that I am rarely embarrassed (because that calls for a high degree of self-awareness!)

But it's with no small shame that I tell this on myself. Years ago I worked with a woman who retired; I hadn't seen her for quite a while, and then we attended a work event together. She had lost a lot of weight so I cracked wise with something about "being retired and having time for diet and exercise" being really good.

And she told me she was not in good health. She only lived another few months, but if there is one lesson I've learned, it was not to clap someone on the back to tell them it's great that they've dropped 20 without being sure they were in good health.

And for the love of Pete, hold your congratulations to all women about their pregnancy until you see them holding the baby!

This sad memory bobbed up the other day when actor Chadwick Boseman died. We were shocked to hear of it, of course; such a young man should have decades left to explore his talent.  And unlike many others, he had vowed to keep his fight for his life personal, and did not tell a word of his cancer.

This past April, the star of "42" paid tribute to the real 42 on Jackie Robinson Day, and his appearance (above right), gaunt and drawn, came as a surprise to many.  And many people questioned his countenance.

Looking back over the comments shared about him in April, about the kindest thing anyone said was, "I hope he's doing ok."  Most were much worse, alleging drug abuse, poor life choices, and the like.

Had he gone public with the fact that he was dealing with a terminal case of colon cancer, people would have known better than to say such things, but then Boseman would have had to give up the privacy he was entitled to, the same as any other person, star or not. He made his decision, he kept it to himself and his family, and his legacy will be burnished in future should the plan in his hometown of Anderson, SC, to replace a monument honoring a Confederate Civil War general with a statue saluting the man who gave great and uplifting performances in so many pictures come to fruition.

I hope so. He meant a lot to a great many people, and he showed rare dignity to the end.