Call me by your name

A quick look at my Facebook friends list shows there are seven women on there named Heather.

I love that name! It conjures soft visions of a pink flower in the Scottish Highlands, and all that goes with that...tweedy jackets, mulled cider and wines and soft music played on woodwinds as fires and candles warm and scent the room.

We get a sense from names, and that's my warm glow from the name "Heather." Much more a balm to the soul that, say, Agnes, Mildred, or Hortense, all though there are lovely people by those names as well.

I also like to see the popularity charts for names as they ebb and flow. I remember the days when little boys were John, Steven, Richard (and the occasional Mark) and girls were Carol, Susan, and Barbara. Not so much anymore.

But no name ever took such a precipitous spill in popularity as Heather.

Did you know that in 1975, there were more than 24,000 American baby girls given that name, and that it finished third in the name charts that year, after Jennifer and Amy?

Fast forward to 2017, and if you named your baby Heather, she was one of only 219 to be so called. "Heather" is now the 1,129th most popular girls' name.  "Jennifer" and "Amy" have also fallen off, but not quite so much.

Because I have plenty of time to read stuff, I read an article about a woman named Laura Wattenberg, who is said to be the top expert on US naming trends. She operates a website called Baby Name Wizard, which is a great site for baby name trivia and ideas. (As always, I humbly remind all expectant families of the wonders that could befall a little boy christened "Elvis.") 

Laura (how cool would it be if her name were Heather?) said Americans name their kids according to fad and fashion, and, "When fashion is ready for a name, even a tiny spark can make it take off. Heather climbed gradually into popularity through the 1950s and ’60s, then took its biggest leap in 1969, a year that featured a popular Disney TV movie called Guns in the Heather. A whole generation of Heathers followed, at which point Heather became a ‘mom name’ and young parents pulled away.”

"Heathers" (1988)

It makes sense that the first batch of Heathers became moms and did not want to call their offspring "Heather, Jr."  Wattenberg also says the 1988 movie "Heathers," which concerned some rather evil snotty princesses, all named that, was another factor. 

And the fact that every movie made 30 years ago has, by law, been made into a Broadway musical was the final nail in the coffin.

And get this: Wattenberg also claims that the sound of a name has to do with how popular it is. “Current style favors liquid sounds dominated by long vowels,” she says, liquid sounds being those that involve using the tip of the tongue to create air flow through the mouth. This theory explains why there are so many people being born now called Liam, Noah, Aria, Amelia and Melania.

Just kidding with that last one.