Ruffled

If you've heard this once, you've heard it a thousand times:

"Don't go in the water for half an hour after eating or you will get a cramp and drown right away."

and...

"Ignorance of the law is no excuse."

To paraphrase Will Rogers, we're all ignorant, only in different subjects. So there's no use asking the judge for mercy by claiming that you didn't know it was illegal to break the glass on the vending machine and reach in to walk away with a treasure trove of Mr Goodbars, Goobers, and Gobstoppers.

It's no good to say you didn't know the law, but I'll bet you dollars to donuts (whatever that means) that you didn't know it's against the law to possess eagle feathers if you are not Native American.

So what brings all this up, anyway, in a world in which Stuttering John, radio comic, can get through to Muttering Don, television comic, on a secure line on the most-protected airplane in the world?

Up in New York, the governor, Andre Cuomo, recently wove a wistful tale involving a trip by canoe on a lake in the Adirondacks. A bald eagle swooped down just above the canoe where the governor and his daughter Michaela were paddlin' away the afternoon.

“One of the highlight moments was on Saranac Lake when we were in a canoe, and we were taking a canoe trip and out of nowhere, from one of the islands, an eagle came out and like swooped down right next to us with this beautiful, graceful glide,” Cuomo said at the Hotel Saranac.

“And when the eagle was just about at front of the canoe, one feather fell out. And we picked up that feather, and I have it on my fireplace to this day.”

Busted. Cue "Dragnet" theme.

The Bald and Golden Eagle Protection Act of 1940 prohibits the possession of eagle feathers by non-Native Americans.

Anyone convicted of violating the law could face a fine of up to $100,000 and a year in jail.

The Associated Press asked the gov's office about this illegal feather, and a Cuomo spokesman said the governor will either return it to the lake or give it to a U.S. Fish and Wildlife repository.

You just can't even pick up a feather anymore without facing a year in the hoosegow.

It is still legal to pick up A) a cold B) the kids from soccer practice and C) weight, but you never know.