Friday, October 20, 2017

A Star Is Boring

It's always good to remain positive about life in general, and sometimes that takes a whale of an effort.

I love America and I love living here and I love all but four of the 323.1 million people who live here, and that's not bad.  There are so many aspects to American culture that are the envy of the entire world - our contributions to the arts, to athletics, to world commerce, our charitable donations...all go toward making this a better world in which to live.

I do find it worrisome that 11.5 million people here and abroad have chosen to follow the "career" of Danielle Peskowitz.

Who, now?

All right.  When she first burst into our collective consciousness like a malfunctioning smoke detector in the guest bedroom at 2:38 in the morning, she was giving her name as "Danielle Bregoli," and under that name, she appeared on TV's "Dr Phil" show.  Phil McGraw, a man with a PhD in psychology who admits to no longer practicing psychology, hosts a daily broadcast in which a cornucopia of human suffering spills out into your living room from a studio in California. When Danielle appeared on the show in September 2016, she was with her mother, who decried the young lady's lack of discipline and manners, as the folksy McGraw crooned things like "What part of behavin' don't you understaaaaaaaand?"

And the audience chirped and whooped at the young woman's contumacy, as audiences on such shows will. And this was the perfect lead-in for the teenager to respond with these immortal words:


"Cash Me Ousside How Bout Dah?"
For our readers not versed in Bregolese, what she was saying was, "Catch me outside.  How about that?"  This was to be taken as a threat to meet the entire audience in the parking lot of Dr Phil World, where, we are to presume, the audience would be cut to ribbons, not by Danielle's wit and verbal dexterity, but by her three-inch fake fingernails.

McGraw arranged to have her spend some time on a rehab ranch, after which she was arrested (and pleaded guilty) for grand theft, marijuana possession, and filing a false police report. She is serving five years probation. 

And then most of the nation sighed and waited for better things to watch.  And while we waited, Danielle Bregoli has decided to grace the world with her talents at rapping. 

She is now known as "Bhad Bhabie."



She has a contract with Atlantic Records, once the home of Ray Charles, Bobby Darin, and Wilson Pickett.


Her debut single/video was the toetapper "These Heaux." (Must be French, eh?)


Her new song, , the tender ballad "Hi Bich," just hit the charts at #68 and is moving up fast. 17 million pairs of eyes with nothing better to do looked at the video for it.

It's not so much that I worry for the fate of a nation whose young people worship someone so unworthy. I mean, we survived Fabian, who was signed to a record deal because he was sitting on his front porch looking pouty, and Justin Bieber, who always looks pouty, and not even Nickelback ruined the world forever. Your kids and grandkids might even like BB just to see the top of your head come off.

What I don't care for is that people with real talent and dedication to making music take lessons and practice for days ... weeks ...  months ... years and wind up playing the keyboard for the "800 588-2300 Empiiiiire!" jingle, while Danielle Bregoli, whose estranged father is a police officer in Florida, rides around Los Angeles in a Rolls-Royce for chanting inanities.

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