Wednesday, August 2, 2017

Stone out of luck

Image result for julio jones alabama
Julio shoves someone from
a lesser school aside
Quintorris Lopez Jones is a young man from America's sunny southland.  You might know him better as "Julio" Jones, ace wide receiver for the Atlanta Falcons and an alumnus of the fabled University of Alabama.  

Summer break is about over for football players from Pee-Wee league to the professionals, as they return for training camp, but before he returned to the 100-yard wars, Julio decided to spend some time zipping around on a Jet Ski on Lake Lanier in Georgia.

He must have been in a terrific hurry to get aboard that power dinghy and make waves, because he neglected to take time to remove his diamond earring.

If I were to wear a diamond earring, the stone would be about the size of a speck of pepper floating in my grits, but old Julio earns a handsome dollar for catching oblong spheroids, so his was about the size of a walnut, I guess. 

Anyhow, he fell off the PWC (personal water craft), but he was wise enough to wear a PFD (personal flotation device) so he didn't have to see a PCP (primary care physician) or EMT (emergency medical technician).  He bobbed to the surface happily, and stayed that way until he realized he no longer had the earring installed.

So he needs to see an HPJ (high price jeweler)!

Jones is All-Pro in the NFL, but he hired professional divers to scour the bottom of the lake to find the rock.

No luck.

They went down 65 feet and found nothing but Georgia mud and some old beer cans down there. 

"It's down in crevasses and nooks and crannies," Richard Pickering, one of the divers, said on the WXIA news channel. "It's impossible -- absolutely impossible."

Uh, yeah!

WXIA asked Jones to comment on reports that the earring cost him $100,000 and he said, "Yeah, yeah, it was worth a little bit."

According to the jewelry store Jones patronizes, it was worth more like $150,000.

But Jones remained sanguine about it all, telling the TV station, "As long as I'm good, it's materialistic stuff. You can always get that kind of stuff back."

Or not. 

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