Thursday, September 17, 2015

Is that the best suit you have?

As a child, I wanted to grow up and become a fireman and a radio DJ.  The Fire Department appealed to me because it was a way to help people out, and the only other profession that regularly helps people out is obstretrics.

Ba ba BOOM!

Being paid to tell corny jokes while playing records - things I did around the house for free! - appealed to me, so I drifted into that work as a young dude, before it was time to hop on the pension-and-benefits train.

Radio isn't like it used to be, and DJs are told what to play and what to say and make it snappy, because there's another commercial to play.  It's just not what it used to be, and really, nothing is.  But some of the people plying that trade ought to report for a reality check.  

For example, take David Mueller.  He used to be a jock in Denver under the name "Jackson." (Please note that my parents outfitted me with a ready-made DJ name at my glorious birth.)  Old Jackson
has filed a lawsuit against singer/songwriter/pop goddess Taylor Swift in U.S. District Court, claiming that he was fired from his radio job after he was accused of grabbing the pop star's bottom at a 2013 concert. 

I once walked Loretta Lynn onstage to a wildly appreciative audience, and never once did it occur to me to touch her inappropriately.  It was a gentler era, I suppose.

Mueller says a picture of him and his oh-so-fortunate girlfriend posing with Taylor shows the three of them smiling happily, and proffers the photo as proof positive that he never touched anyone's ads.

This is a brilliant legal maneuver, and if I ever enter the lucrative field of bank robbery, I'll just get security footage of me walking into the bank and say here I am, no robbery has occurred!  Yet.

Only two people know for certain whether any grabola took place, and when you think about it, does Taylor Swift (2015 income projection: $80,000,000) need to file a false claim against someone like this?

"The radio station was given evidence immediately after the incident," a spokesperson for Swift said. "They made their independent decision [to fire Mueller]."

In any event, why chase after Taylor Swift because your employer fired you?  Wouldn't that be like suing water because you slipped on the ice?  

Make me a judge, folks, and you'll see a need for special jails for guys like this.

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