Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Another BP disaster

As if it isn't tough enough going through life named "Bristol," our Alaskan pal Bristol Palin decided she needed a facial overhaul, now that she in is show biz, with a reality show on the BIO channel (we get it, but I had to check. It's down there near The Military Channel and BBQ America) and her new home in Arizona.  Bristol is, of course, the daughter of  comedian Sarah Palin, who appears on FOXNews with her pithy observations on modern life - sort of like Erma Bombast, if you will.

I really am sad to think that a fairly attractive 20-year-old mom and student has time, money, and most of all, the inclination for having work done on the old kisser, but one look at the before-and-after photos removes all doubt.  Plus, BP spills all about it in US Weekly, saying that "It's not plastic surgery, it's a procedure!" She says this is all from corrective jaw surgery in December.  Her face now appears thinner, with higher cheekbones and an angular jaw. Sort of a female version of Jay Leno.

She also lost 5 pounds and trotted out her new look the weekend before last
 at the White House Correspondents' Association dinner in D.C.

"Yes, it improved the way I look, but this surgery was necessary for medical reasons," she told the US magazine.  Bristol claims she had the procedure so her jaw and teeth could properly realign.

(Jaws are really important in that family, what with all the talkin' and feudin' and pointin' out Russia and all! And you need well-aligned teeth for chewin' all that whale meat!)

"I look older, more mature and don't have as much of a chubby little baby face," she told US.

And that non-chubby face will soon beam out at you from this reality series which will show her and sonny Tripp moving to Los Angeles to work for a charity.  And she's writin' a book! She's going to publish "Not Afraid of Life"  this summer.  The publishing firm says the memoir would provide "an inside look at her life." That would be the life of which she is so unafraid, you understand.

And baby daddy Levi has a book coming out soon! This fall, look for  "Deer in the Headlights: My Life in Sarah Palin's Crosshairs."

I never want to be in or near Sarah Palin's crosshairs.

Sounds like all three of these people - Sarah, Bristol, and Levi, are right on target.

But I once worked with someone who was in a minor auto accident, had to be out for three months for "rehab," and came back looking like Groucho Marx when he played in "The Mikado."  Life gives you a face. Unless you're in the show business, it's the one you should stick with, unless you feel more comfortable having...two faces.

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