"Hey, look! There's Bobi!"

At the height of my teenage indolence, I had a wager with my friend over which of us was the lazier, since his father had told him he was the laziest kid in America. 

I said nothing, and so I won, because the laziest thing in the world is not to defend yourself over charges of laziness.

Similarly, if I ever live long enough to be the oldest man in the world, I will accept, because I already know how it feels to be the oldest man in the world. Anyone who has ever seen me get out of the sack and head for the water closet will agree.

But let's take a minute to feel sorry for Bobi, until recently the titleholder of the coveted "Oldest Dog in History" crown. The good people over at Guinness World Records are now saying that they do "not have the evidence to support Bobi's claim as the record holder.”

The late, great Bobi

Bobi was 31 at the time of his passing last October. He was a guard dog on a farm in Conqueiros, Portugal, where he lived with his owner, Leonel Costa.  The "oldest dog" prize was added to his kibble in February, 2023, because Costa said Bobi was born on May 11, 1992.

Veterinarians and other experts raised both doubts and their eyebrows over this longevity claim.  

“We take tremendous pride in ensuring to the best of our ability the accuracy and integrity of all our record titles,” said Mark McKinley,  director of records at Guinness.  “Of course, we require evidence for all Guinness World Records titles we oversee, often a minimum of two statements from witnesses and subject matter experts,” McKinley said.

Bobi's microchip data was inconclusive as to the date of his birth, and of course, the photos of him reading a newspaper dated May 12, 1992 could have been faked. 

And he was a purebred Rafeiro do Alentejo. That breed has an average life expectancy of 10 - 14 years, which is how long I expect a wallet to last, too.