Maybe read this one AFTER breakfast!

There are some colognes and perfumes that just stink to high heaven. There is one that smells like Juicy Fruit gum, one that smells like a ton of vanilla extract, and  - no kidding - I used to work with a woman who came in every day smelling like a fresh stack of automobile tires. Maybe they fooled her by calling the perfume "Eau de caoutchouc," but it still smelled like a truckload of Michelin. 

Maybe it was just not a Goodyear for her, I don't know.

Now, there are some colognes and perfumes that smell really nice! And I am quick to tell someone "You smell pretty good," but you have to know just how to say that. And that isn't it.

But here is something I just found out about makes Windsong stay on my mind: It's this waxy substance, very rare, called Ambergris, or "floating gold." The perfume business uses it to "elevate the scents and notes" of colognes. A more crass way to say it would be, "It turns up the stink-o-meter just right."

“It’s an extremely valuable substance that’s known for its unique scent and fixative qualities,” according to November (I love that name!) Nichols, who is in the perfume biz. “It enhances the longevity and depth of the fragrances that it’s added to.”

I am an English Leather After Shave man, personally, and I have long admired the longevity and depth of it for making me smell like a belt.

Ambergris comes from the belly of sperm whales, who are our largest toothed predator, next to that lovable Gronk.

Let's put our cards on the table. Ambergris, which makes Donna Valentino's "Born In Rome," Ariana Grande's "Cloud," and Revlon "Ciara for Women" so doggone fragrant is...whale vomit.

My friend November explains:  “Ambergris is produced to protect the whale’s gut from sharp objects and, over time, is expelled and can be found floating in the ocean or washed ashore."

Now, whales are on the endangered list, but since this ambergris is something they ralph in the ocean, it doesn't harm them to have it scooped up and taken to a factory. I'm sure they're glad to have it gone!

I think I speak for many when wondering how some sailors found this pile of floating technicolor yawn in the sea and then said, "Hey, Pierre! You know what this would be good for???"