I can't believe this

A great many people enjoy tying on the feedbag at Cracker Barrel, either while on the highway (almost all of their 663 Cracker Barrel Old Country Stores are within a softball's toss of an interstate) or, like us, taking a 20-mile drive up some back roads to dine there. The food is above average, the atmosphere is convivial - you can play checkers on the front porch and in the wintertime there's a big fire going in the dining room hearth - and you can shop for gifts for Uncle Leon and Aunt Fritzi when you're finished chowing down. It feels like a second home for a lot of people.

It is a business, though, and like any well-run corporation, they look to offer their customers the best variety of eats. So, recently, they added a new product to their menu with the addition of plant-based sausage.

Notice, I said the addition of plant-based sausage.

Now, I have to be honest with you, as always. This old boy is not about to eat a plant-based sausage. I have plant-based salads all the time, and I like broccoli and string beans and a whole host of green things. 

However, I have been a pork sausage man since I was a barefoot boy with cheek of tan, and I can promise you two things in this world. One of them is that I will not eat plant-based sausage.  If you'd like to know the other thing I promise, send me fifty dollars in cash.

But notice, I said I am not eating the new fake sausage in my "Old Timer’s Breakfast," "Grandpa’s Country Fried Breakfast," and the "Cracker Barrel’s Country Boy Breakfast." And it's not because the new sausage costs an extra twenty cents.  

And I didn't say you shouldn't be able to order it,  if that's what floats in your grits.

Here is what I can't figure out. Cracker Barrel Nation is voicing their opinion loudly about the change. They don't like it, they don't choose it, and they don't want YOU to either.

Social media is fairly ablaze with irate sausage lovers saying that this new menu option (OPTION!!!!!) is wrecking their image of their beloved roadside fill-'er-up. 

"YOU CAN TAKE MY PORK SAUSAGE WHEN YOU PRY IT FROM MY COLD, DEAD HANDS," Facebook user Mark Vige commented. "DON'T TREAD ON MY PORK!"

I always view with great disdain any post made in all caps unless it refers to Alabama winning another national championship, so come on, Mr Vige.

Someone named Joe Wicker, who says he loves the "the double meat breakfast," says that Cracker Barrel's VP of marketing should be fired. He feels the new sausage is "a woke social experiment based on ideology and not business."

Something else for which I harbor great disdain is the insincere use of the term "woke." Go back to sleep, Joe.

So all the Barrel tried to do here was offer an alternative to their customers. Nowhere did it say that you can't have real pork sausage anymore. 

What kind of stupid nation are we becoming? First, we have millions of people paying millions of dollars to a porcine radio host who, most evilly, claims that the dead children of Sandy Hook were not real.

And now we have people saying they don't like others having meat options for breakfast, as they stomp their feet and trudge away.

Stupid.