Mask of Commerce

Stylish to a fault (of which I have dozens), I make it a point to read Vogue magazine to find out what people are wearing.  One day, I hope they will have a column that tells me WHY people are wearing what they wear, but that doesn't seem to be any of my beeswax.

Speaking of what people are wearing, how about masks?  I mean, on New Year's Day, did you even imagine that by August, we'd all be strapping them on?  And then, it took fifteen minutes for the big names to realize that there was money to be made in this pandemic. 

I saw an ad online for shirts that came with matching masks made of the same material. And designers are selling masks in summer-style prints, which makes us wonder if they will also be producing fall-style masks with pictures of leaves and hayrides, and Thanksgiving finery with "Mashed potatoes, gravy, and cranberry sauce" as a nod to the dearly departed Little Richard.

And who's surprised that stars like Katy Perry, who has new music out on an album called "Smile," are selling "merch masks" to tie their musical product to the masks they are selling.  It's the perfect tie-in - the mask sells the music and the music sells the mask.

Lady Gaga is hawking a pink “Sour Candy” mask  - it has fangs on it!  Nicki Minaj, Bad Bunny  - the singer/rapper born Benito Antonio Martínez Ocasio  -and BTS have masks for you too.

BTS, of course, is a K-pop hip-hop pop band from Korea, and they are also known as the Bangtan Boys, not to be confused with the Backstreet Boys.  As if you could have.

Vogue says that most of the merchy mask moolah goes right to your favorite singers' pockets, but Ariana Grande and Justin Bieber have a duet out together called “Stuck With U” and all the money rolling in from the mask (sold separately) goes to the First Responders Children’s Foundation. The Weeknd has a record label called "XO Records" and you can buy an “XO” face mask.  100% of those proceeds go to the MusiCares Covid-19 relief efforts.  He could have spent the money to buy the missing "e" from his name, but he didn't.

It just goes to show that there's always something new coming up. When t-shirts with designs and logos printed on them became popular, we figured it was cheaper and less permanent than a tattoo. So a mask with the name of your favorite musical artist to cover your mouth and nose is the same  -  faster, cheaper, less permanent and 100% less stupid than a face tattoo!

Two years from now, when we've all been "inarkulated" against the 'Rona, we'll see these masks sitting in the drawer next to our underwear and look back wistfully.