The Yanks are coming

In a pinch, I once went to a dentist for a wisdom tooth extraction. I guess the first hint would have been that he was open for business on a Saturday afternoon, and said, "Sure, I'm here! Come on up!"

So I did, and he offered me the laughing gas, and served up a shot of hooch in one of those Tony The Tiger mugs that Exxon stations used to hand out with a fillup.

"Drink this, and we'll get started," he chortled. I was young and dumb then, so we plowed ahead with this ill-advised surgery. I am no longer young and dumb. I'm old now.

I bring this up by way of introducing you to Seth Lookhart, until recently a professional toothyanker up in Anchorage, Alaska.  He will soon have a new address featuring iron bars, following his conviction on dozens of charges, after he was filmed pulling a patient's tooth as he stood on a hoverboard, according to the Alaska Department of Law.

A total of 46 felony and misdemeanor counts were dropped on Lockhart in Anchorage Superior Court. The judge, Michael Wolverton, called the evidence presented by the state during a five-week bench trial "overwhelming." the Department of Law said in a news release.

The state of Alaska charged Lookhart with "unlawful dental acts," making the outrageous claim that performing a dental extraction procedure on a sedated patient while riding a hoverboard "did not meet professional standards."

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And it's not like turning his operatory into a clown show was where he drew the line. They also got him for medical assistance fraud.  He was billing Medicaid for procedures that were either unnecessary or not properly justified. They convicted him of theft of $25,000 or more because he diverted funds from Alaska Dental Arts, among dozens of others.

Wolverton said it looked like Lookhart "believed that he could get away with his fraud indefinitely, and that he believed his scheme was foolproof."

And he said the evidence of what this joker was up to "was often supported, and often in excruciating detail, by Lookhart's own texts, photos and videos."

Veronica Wilhelm was just one of his victims, and she testified she did not consent to being filmed while sedated nor to having her tooth taken out while Lookhart was on the hoverboard.

You know how these trials go. They had to ask.

Ms Wilhelm didn't even know about the video until she was contacted by investigators, she said. "I would've said 'hell no!' No, that's unprofessional," she testified. "It's crazy."

And of course, according to the local news up in the 49th state, Wilhelm looked at  Lookhart and told him she thought he "could've made better choices."

The thing that I'm taking away from all this is that Lookhart went through 12 years of education, then college, then dental school, and that somewhere along the line he figured that performing Jackass-style stunts while conducting a tooth extraction would be all right.

What?