The magazine would provide evidence as proffered in real trials in courtrooms all over. Both the prosecution's side and the defense were stated without prejudice, and then the reader either read it all and decided how the caseshould have been decided, or gave up and read the "Hazel" cartoon on the next page.
In case anyone read the whole thing, they would always print the actual verdict.
Which brings us to the Case of Benjamin Schreiber. Not-so-Gentle-Ben was convicted in 1997 of beating a man to death, and he really looks like the type, am I wrong? ⇉⇉⇉He was sentenced to life in prison.
In 2015, his heart stopped five times during a procedure at a hospital which treated him. He was a resident of the Iowa State Penitentiary in Fort Madison. Doctors gave him IV fluids and were operating on him to fix damage done by kidney stones when his ticker stopped ticking.
So now he says that since his heart stopped, he was technically dead, so now he should be released because he was sentenced to life, "not to life plus one day".
The court is denying his request to be released, stating, with no small amount of logic, that if he can make such a plea, then he must still be alive.
The Iowa Appeals Court has now ruled that "Schreiber is either alive, in which case he must remain in prison, or he is dead, in which case this appeal is moot."
How do you feel? He seems like such a pleasant fellow that I'm sure the other inmates would want him to stick around for the sunshiny ways he must bring to the morning roll call, lunch mob, and work details.
I say keep him locked up, and make him watch Dr Phil and whatever show Jerry Springer is putting out now all day long.
You?
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