MFHFA

The outfielder who dropped a fly ball, allowing three runs to score and causing his team to lose a baseball game, used to be called "the goat," and sportswriters, who often pulled their shoulders out of joint reaching for a metaphor, would say the "woebegone flychaser" was "being fitted for goat horns."

I tell you, reading the sports pages used to remind me reading Aesop's Fables, with all the animal allusions.

Now, we say the GOAT is the Greatest Of All Time, for people ranging from Muhammad Ali to Brooks Robinson to Oprah Winfrey to John Lennon, people who had achieved ne plus ultra status in their line of work.

So make room for the GOAT goat, because here's one who has finally found work in the highest office in her town. Say hi to Lincoln, a three-year-old Nubian goat. She was elected mayor of Fair Haven, Vermont, a town that seems to have lots of time for fol-de-rol, especially in those cold New England winters.

To be honest, being mayor of Fair Haven is largely a ceremonial position. Town Manager Joe Gunter does all the work, and had enough time one day to read a newspaper about some hamlet in Michigan that had no mayor, so they decided to elect a four-legged one. Gunter decided to follow suit.

Lincoln is also employed as a groundskeeper; she keeps the yard freed of brush and whatnot for a local family.
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Right after her swearing-in ceremony last week, Lincoln did what a lot of our leaders do, and dropped off a nice package of poop-pourri that the police chief had to clean up with a broom and dust pan.



Lincoln will serve a one-year term, and she will make public appearances and also "march" in the Memorial Day parade wearing a red hat with a the slogan "Make Fair Haven Fair Again."