Help from an unexpected source!

It's well known among law enforcement types that a typical child molester is so perverse as to enjoy keeping detailed records of his "conquests," and in this new digital age, what better way to log one's filthy depravities than to write about them on one's personal computer?

A police officer from another county in Maryland told me of a case in which his department, some years ago, raided the home of a child molester and took into custody his computer, which they were sure would yield a treasure trove of inculpatory evidence.

So the top brainiacs in the department set about opening up the computer's files, only to find that they were password-protected. Time after time they fiddled with password after password, only to be rebuffed every time.

At length, they did the only thing they could do, which was to go down to the high school and round up the King Of All Smalltown Hackers. They took him back to the precinct, and with a few taps on the keyboard, he was in there in a twinkling, and asked for a ride to Game Stop.

The point is, sometimes you need help, and sometimes the skills that will help you are not exactly on Angie's List.

Which brings us to sun-drenched Florida, where Pasco County Sheriff's deputies were trying to help a family.  The father had locked his keys in his SUV on Valentine's Day, and his efforts to jimmy the door were fruitless, and with his one-year-old daughter perched inside in her car seat, it was an emergency to get into the car.

Even with the temperature at 56°, it's not safe for the baby to be stuck in the car, even though she seemed comfortable when the deputies came along.

After a few more minutes with no luck, the parents told the deputies that the dad was going to break the front driver's side window.  That's not optimal, and it turned out that they didn't have to be, because...

Working nearby was one of those prison work gangs you see all over the south, uniformly dressed in stripes and busily repairing parking lot medians. They saw what was going on, and volunteered their unique skill sets to get into the car.

I mean, why not, you know what I mean?

The deputies told the dad to get up close to a window so the baby would see Daddy and not some scary-looking dudes.

The men went to work, their skilled hands like those of a surgeon performing a bladder cystectomy.

It took two minutes for the robbin' hoods to pry open the front door enough for one of their number to reach in with a coat hanger and work the door lock button. Two minutes.

Please remember this, the next time you can't get your car started. That sketchy-looking guy hanging around the LP gas canisters in front of Home Depot should be able to help.