No Homophones Aloud

Blogger Torkildson

I (knead, need) to tell you that out in Utah, a state in which they (wear, where) those bolo ties without a hint of self-consciousness, a man says he has been fired for writing about homophones in his blog.

Homophones!  Why, the very idea! That may (seem, seam) to be the sort of thing you would discuss in your (cellar, seller) with your closest friends, but using the (phrase, frays) "Modern Homophones" will get your name (tact, tacked) up on the list of Former Employees where this man worked.

I'm sure he feels that everyone is (teeming, teaming) up against him, but he knows what his boss doesn't - that a homophone is a word that has an aural twin, another word that sounds the same, with different spelling and meaning.  For example, when you see someone send a text that says they are sorry for all you've been "threw," that's a sad example to put you through.  To hear Frankie Valli sing the theme song from the 70s musical "Greece" is another one.

After the blogger, Tim Torkildson, was (shone, shown) the door one recent (summery, summary) day, he told the Salt Lake Tribune that he was fired from (some, sum) school called the Nomen Global Language Center.

This is a school that teaches languages!  And the owner fired him, complaining, "now our school is going to be associated with homosexuality."  He said that because he didn't understand the (dual, duel) meanings, I guess.

I'm not going to (mints, mince) words here...

It just makes you (sigh, psi).

As Herbert Hoover said, "I'll be (dammed, damned)."

[Editor's note: last week when my orthopedist was examining my left (humerus, humorous) bone, I (told, tolled) him I didn't find it funny at all.]