The Dollar Store

I don't know the first thing about selling real estate and I doubt that I'd be very good at it, because my sales pitch would be along the lines of "Do you like this house?  Well, then, I think you should buy it" and that might not be enough to get me into the Top Sellers' Club.

But these deals I hear about on the radio...a guy who has made a fortune in the real estate business is coming to town, pitching both his tent and his foolproof plan for making your own million.  All you have to do is get a bunch of people who own houses that they are willing to sell you for maybe $200,000.  Then you turn around and flip that dwelling for $250,000, pocketing the 50 grand for yourself and heading for one of your many vacation getaway spots.

I used to work with a guy who had "figured out a surefire way" to make money by betting on horse races.  He was willing to let me in on the scheme if I would just pony up (get it?) half a hundred G's to get the plan off the ground.

Every so often, someone will come along and offer to let you in on their business, which involves them buying soaps and other home products from a large company and selling it to you so you can sell it to your friends, neighbors and co-workers.  The big company makes a mint, the local distributor makes half a mint, and you make space in your cellar for cases of unsold laundry detergent.

And don't forget this one - a man ran an ad in the National Perspirer or whatever they call it.  The ad said "Make $100,000 in direct mail marketing - send $1 to Box XXX Itchy, Indiana for details."  And people sent off their singles and got back a xeroxed sheet that said "Buy an ad that says "Make $100,000 in direct mail marketing.."

All of these plans rest on the generosity of someone who knows how to turn a dollar bill into a million just like it, and the incredible thing about it all is that they are so willing to share it with you and me, rather than just keeping all the money for themselves and their indolent brothers-in-law!  How very kind.