Cut!

At my age (and my level of social interaction, which on most days is less than nil) I don't have to shave very often.  But of course, the way I am, I have to turn it into a big production.

No electric razor, please. I use a blade and freshly-whipped shaving cream right out of a mug. The mug was my father's, but I had to get a new fur brush to make a warm soothing lather that makes my freshly-showered face say, "Drag a piece of sharp steel across me and whittle off these whiskers! No one wants you walking around looking like a hobo!"

My face and I have some wonderful conversations. 

And the one good thing about the pandemic? If I have to run to the We-Is grocery store and I'm wearing a mask, no one is any the wiser if I'm not clean-shaven! 

But the other morning I badly miscalculated the location of my upper lip in reference to the location of the razor blade, and the result was a tiny nick, hardly larger than a pencil point. It's funny that a teeny cut in that area will yield a good quart to a quart and a half of blood (slight exaggeration) and yet a six-inch gash in the forearm will put out maybe a trickle.  A bit of cold water, alcohol, and a tiny square of paper towel failed to do the trick, so it was time to haul out the heavy blood-stanching artillery:

The styptic pencil. This little stick that looks like chalk will stop the flow like magic! As you see, it was invented long ago by a guy named Nick Relief. 

I love it when someone's name fits their occupation perfectly. I knew a draftsman named T. Square, a weightlifter named Armstrong, and who could forget the guy who walked into savings and loans brandishing a pistol and demanding sacks full of money? His name was Rob Banks! He had a brother who was totally different, worked hard, put all his money aside for later. Phil Banks.

The styptic pencil is a medical miracle. I guarantee you, if you get one large one when you're young, there will be something left of it when you shuffle off to Buffalo. Your sons and nephews can argue over it; you won't care.

America leads the world in styptic pencil creation thanks to our abundant styp mines. These little pencils, just about the size of a Chap-Stik, come out of the earth all ready to go. The photo at right shows a modern stypping miner on the job.

So if you have known the nicks and cuts, get yourself a styptic pencil and smile all day!