Monday, August 22, 2016

Once and for all, it isn't funny

High school guidance counselors will be busy this fall, advising students about careers and how to get into them.  For instance, someone seeking a job in the field of automotive repair would do well to attend one of the fine technical schools around the area. Those who wish to become attorneys are guided into good colleges with pre-law courses, or pre-med.  What's the difference?

But these people are missing out on the sure-bet career of what's left of the 20-teens and beyond...the burgeoning field of Celebrity Apology Coaching!  Public Relations people are needed from Rio to Reno, from Stanford to Stamford, from Hollywood (MD) to Hollywood (CA).

Getting ready to do
yet another hilarious skit
We've said enough about childish 32-year old Lyin' Ryan Lochte, the swimmer who dove a little too deeply into the shallow end of truth.  His handlers surely have had their hands full, getting him to dye his hair back to a color normally seen on humans, and coaching him to apologize in an authentic manner.

And now, some poor PR plugger will have to work on the case of Blake Shelton, the "country" singer who advises neophyte singers on "The Voice" about how to sing and all.  Good thing he doesn't give them advice about how to send tweets.

Ol' Blake has sent out some doozies over the years and now that the inane remarks that come out of his brain have come to light, why, he's just about trippin' over his cowboy boots to apologize. I will not sully my blog by showing you verbatim what he wrote. In case you need an emetic, you may click on the link above and see the racist, sexist, homophobic waste product of his words.

But you'll notice, those of you who wish to work in this field, that you have to approach these apologies at an angle. Blake's angle is that he is a comedian!

"Everyone knows comedy has been a major part of my career and it's always been out there for anyone to see," he tweeted. "That said anyone that knows me also knows I have no tolerance for hate of any kind or form. Can my humor at times be inappropriate and immature? Yes. Hateful? Never. That said I deeply apologize to anybody who may have been offended."

Oh, and that's the other thing.  "I apologize to anyone WHO MIGHT HAVE BEEN offended."  So, next time you feel a little churly, just walk up to someone and smack them a good wallop. And then, say, "I'm sorry IF you were offended."

Yes, Blake, jokes about gay people and people who speak foreign languages are so funny.  

The real joke is that he now claims to be a comedian, that this sort of thing was done as an attempt at humor.  What a sad, sad world he must inhabit, to think that sort of thing is funny...or what any adult would laugh at in 2016.

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