Tuesday, July 15, 2014

"Do you know who I am?" "No, who are you?"

The NFL season hasn't even started yet; the local eleven, the Baltimore Ravens, start their summer rehearsals in nine days are already leading the league.

In arrests, we're number one.  

This past Saturday, starting cornerback Jimmy Smith was arrested in The Greene Turtle in Towson.  This is one of those places that has a double life...Cobb salads and burgers for the courthouse lunch crowd weekday afternoons, and cocktails and beer for the people who should be home long before they close, but aren't.  According to county police, Smith was in the ladies room propping up a woman who was doing the technicolor yawn all over the place, and he refused to leave when EMS arrived to treat her properly.  He got all up in the officer's grille ("What the f*** are you gonna do?” F*** you, what the f*** are you gonna do?”) and what the officer did do was walk him past the grill and then past the grille of a Ford sedan before placing him a) under arrest and b) in the back seat of the Ford. 

I am not writing about the actions of Smith.  I have come to expect very little in the way of decent behavior from young men who, from childhood, have been told they can behave any way they please because they can catch a ball or tackle someone trying to do the same.  He'll be fined by the County and dealt with by the Ravens and the National Football League, whose attorneys are busier than that Dog The Bounty Hunter guy at a buffet. Smith will realize, many years from now, that as long as he was able to flatten ballcarriers on a football field and separate other men from a ball they are trying to catch, we will be paid well, and once he loses those abilities, he will be another palooka selling his memorabilia.

I'm thinking about the people who broke their necks to write on the news sites all weekend about how those dirty coppers had no right to stop Smith, when all he was doing was helping his friend. While HE was in the ladies room with said friend. Who was drunk. In public. And blowing groceries all over a restroom.  And who refused to follow the lawful orders of a police officer and cursed the police.  You have to believe that a large portion of his supporters are otherwise strong law-and-order supporters who would be outraged if the person cursing and challenging the cops was Jimmy Smith the guy who delivers the deodorant cakes to the urinals.  But no!  This guy is a RAVEN!  So look the other way!

My favorite part, from the police report: 

 While at Towson Precinct, Defendant Smith informed Ofc. Slenker “The only reason you arrested me is so you could get on the news.”  Ofc. Slenker informed the defendant that he did not know who he was and it would not have made a difference in the outcome of the incident.

The defendant then stated “You will see this tomorrow on ESPN.” 

Of course, this brings to mind the classic story of the man arrested and hauled into court, saying "Do you know who I am?" and the judge holding him for mental evaluation since he apparently had amnesia or something. 

In happier days.
John Harbaugh, coach of this motley crew, will sputter and stammer all over the place and vow to get them to behave. They are young men with tons of money and not enough to do until it's time to play ball.  Good luck with that. 

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