Saturday, June 25, 2016
The Saturday Picture Show, June 25, 2016
Friday, June 24, 2016
Company's Coming!
I love people, people of all ages. And kids are some of the best people I know, because their minds are still open.
We "adults" can learn a lot from kids, if only we would listen to them. Here's my latest reminder:
The other day, a lady came to our house to do some work. She was in a jam, though: school is out and she had no one to watch her nine-year old daughter, and would I mind if she just hung around the house? Well of course not, I said. Peggy was about to leave for her art class and my only plans for the morning consisted of working the Jumble© ("That Scrambled Word Game.")
So we got Victoria a granola bar and a bottle of water and asked what channel she liked to watch. Big surprise! I would have thought she'd say, "Turner Classic Movies," but no. We went right to Disney Channel and settled in for a morning of conversation, mixed in with the comedy of "Liv & Maddie," "Austin & Ally," "Phineas and Ferb" and a movie about a little girl who was a good baker and moved to Paris for a while and then came home to win $100,000 in a baking contest.
Those who spend a lot of time with fourth graders already know this, but they have a special muscle in their vocal mechanism that allows them to talk for four hours straight without getting a sore throat, or even needing to breathe. I know now that the same woman plays both Liv AND Maddie, that Austin shouldn't be jealous of Elliott, and that Phineas and Ferb are both supposed to be humans, even with their oddly-shaped heads.
And I learned that the little girl baker probably doesn't make her own dough for the scones, but she's a good actor so it looks like she does. And, from the Real Life Adventures of a Real Live Soon-To-Be Fifth Grader, I know now that if you get confused about Math and get a D, the teacher will work with you so you understand the numbers and you can get straight A's, just like Victoria did. And I learned that although she feels she is too young to date (!) there are six boys who "like" her but don't "like like" her. I think they are all named "Aaron," except for one whose real name brought him the unfortunate nickname "Fruity Pebbles." She ranked them in order of how much they liked her and how much she would like them if she did.
Ms Victoria enjoyed playing with the cats, and I have to tell you, Eddie and Deanna, who are normally napping from 9 am until noon to be ready for their afternoon nap (noon - 3 pm) were just great with her! Victoria loved the cats so much! She tossed balls to them, she blew bubbles on them, she dangled their fish-on-a-string toy off their noses, she chased them up and down the stairs, she gave them their treats...and good cats that they are, they played their parts, never snapped or acted bothered, and enjoyed the attention.
The time Peggy got back and Victoria's mom was finished her work, I was sad to see my time with a soon-to-be fifth grader come to an end. But she finished her water, gobbled another granola bar, and bounded off with her mom to more fun in a world where bright colors and vivid music
live vibrantly and long division is the biggest hassle and little girls with their hair done up in little curls with bobby pins are some of the sweetest people on earth.
We "adults" can learn a lot from kids, if only we would listen to them. Here's my latest reminder:
The other day, a lady came to our house to do some work. She was in a jam, though: school is out and she had no one to watch her nine-year old daughter, and would I mind if she just hung around the house? Well of course not, I said. Peggy was about to leave for her art class and my only plans for the morning consisted of working the Jumble© ("That Scrambled Word Game.")
So we got Victoria a granola bar and a bottle of water and asked what channel she liked to watch. Big surprise! I would have thought she'd say, "Turner Classic Movies," but no. We went right to Disney Channel and settled in for a morning of conversation, mixed in with the comedy of "Liv & Maddie," "Austin & Ally," "Phineas and Ferb" and a movie about a little girl who was a good baker and moved to Paris for a while and then came home to win $100,000 in a baking contest.
Those who spend a lot of time with fourth graders already know this, but they have a special muscle in their vocal mechanism that allows them to talk for four hours straight without getting a sore throat, or even needing to breathe. I know now that the same woman plays both Liv AND Maddie, that Austin shouldn't be jealous of Elliott, and that Phineas and Ferb are both supposed to be humans, even with their oddly-shaped heads.
And I learned that the little girl baker probably doesn't make her own dough for the scones, but she's a good actor so it looks like she does. And, from the Real Life Adventures of a Real Live Soon-To-Be Fifth Grader, I know now that if you get confused about Math and get a D, the teacher will work with you so you understand the numbers and you can get straight A's, just like Victoria did. And I learned that although she feels she is too young to date (!) there are six boys who "like" her but don't "like like" her. I think they are all named "Aaron," except for one whose real name brought him the unfortunate nickname "Fruity Pebbles." She ranked them in order of how much they liked her and how much she would like them if she did.
Ms Victoria enjoyed playing with the cats, and I have to tell you, Eddie and Deanna, who are normally napping from 9 am until noon to be ready for their afternoon nap (noon - 3 pm) were just great with her! Victoria loved the cats so much! She tossed balls to them, she blew bubbles on them, she dangled their fish-on-a-string toy off their noses, she chased them up and down the stairs, she gave them their treats...and good cats that they are, they played their parts, never snapped or acted bothered, and enjoyed the attention.
 |
| Hoping for more company soon! |
live vibrantly and long division is the biggest hassle and little girls with their hair done up in little curls with bobby pins are some of the sweetest people on earth.
Thursday, June 23, 2016
Behind the velvet rope, please
I'm not trying to blame an entire educational movement for the foolish actions of some people, but I am puzzled by the tendency of our fellow citizens to do what they damn well please at any time in any situation.
Many teachers follow the Montessori movement, which allows children to be "at liberty to choose and act freely and act spontaneously for optimal development." Theoretically, this means you leave someone in a kitchen with a package of bacon, some green leafy vegetables, a tomato and a loaf of good bread, and if you give them enough time they will learn to make a BLT.
Or, give a person a block of wood and a whittling knife, and they will cut away everything that doesn't look like a duck.
That's the theory, but there is a problem with the "Let 'Em Figure Out How To Do It" school of learning...it leaves people feeling that they can just do as they please when they please. This is why people - not talking about kids here - climb over bars and ford streams to get into the lion's den at the zoo, why they go for boat rides without personal flotation devices, why they play with fireworks, why they run through the streets of Pamplona being chased by bulls, why they jump out of airplanes that are still aloft.
People love to take risks, probably because at some point in their lives, they were encouraged to "think outside the box" and "push the envelope" and "go for the big picture."
Sometimes, the rules are there to say "don't think outside this box because doing so might mean sudden death in a boiling acidic pool of water."
"No significant human remains were left" to recover after Colin Nathaniel Scott, from Portland, Oregon, decided that his visit to Yellowstone National Park would be best enhanced by going off the designated pathway near a geyser basin. He and his sister wandered 225 yards off that boardwalk before he lost his footing on gravel and tumbled to his quick death.
In boiling acidic water.
Of course, there are regulations and rules and signs, the same kind of sign that tells people not to try to engage in civil intercourse with bears, and look how many people break that rule.
Last year, 4.1 million visitors went to Norris Geyser Basin, where water boils at 199° at the park's high elevation.
Please avoid any area where you are likely to fall into a pond of 199° acid. Leave the lions alone, wear your life preserver, attend fireworks shows put on by trained professionals, avoid Spain when the bulls are on the run, and stay in the plane until it lands.
It might not be as thrilling to live that way, but you'll live longer that way.
Many teachers follow the Montessori movement, which allows children to be "at liberty to choose and act freely and act spontaneously for optimal development." Theoretically, this means you leave someone in a kitchen with a package of bacon, some green leafy vegetables, a tomato and a loaf of good bread, and if you give them enough time they will learn to make a BLT.
Or, give a person a block of wood and a whittling knife, and they will cut away everything that doesn't look like a duck.
That's the theory, but there is a problem with the "Let 'Em Figure Out How To Do It" school of learning...it leaves people feeling that they can just do as they please when they please. This is why people - not talking about kids here - climb over bars and ford streams to get into the lion's den at the zoo, why they go for boat rides without personal flotation devices, why they play with fireworks, why they run through the streets of Pamplona being chased by bulls, why they jump out of airplanes that are still aloft.
People love to take risks, probably because at some point in their lives, they were encouraged to "think outside the box" and "push the envelope" and "go for the big picture."
Sometimes, the rules are there to say "don't think outside this box because doing so might mean sudden death in a boiling acidic pool of water."
"No significant human remains were left" to recover after Colin Nathaniel Scott, from Portland, Oregon, decided that his visit to Yellowstone National Park would be best enhanced by going off the designated pathway near a geyser basin. He and his sister wandered 225 yards off that boardwalk before he lost his footing on gravel and tumbled to his quick death.
In boiling acidic water.
Of course, there are regulations and rules and signs, the same kind of sign that tells people not to try to engage in civil intercourse with bears, and look how many people break that rule.
Last year, 4.1 million visitors went to Norris Geyser Basin, where water boils at 199° at the park's high elevation.
 |
| Lovely. Fatal. |
It might not be as thrilling to live that way, but you'll live longer that way.
Wednesday, June 22, 2016
There should be Forever Cards to go along with Forever Stamps
I despise gender characterizations such as "men should be the ones to cut the grass" and "women should cook and clean in the kitchen." They don't make sense in a modern world, never really did. I guess they just used to be accepted, but that didn't make them right.
The fact is, lots of men enjoy cooking and working things out in the kitchen, and plenty of women don't. And there are women who love to get out there on the lawn with the Toro and shape up the back 40 nicely, so what the heck? Do what you want to do! A lot of people can't boil water without burning it (or burning the house down) so it's best that someone fix dinner or it's gonna be takeout vs delivery every night.
There is one area in which I think, at least from what I've seen, the sexes tend to stick to their own behavior, and that is what happens when looking for greeting cards. These are true for MOST cases, so don't get too mad...
Women go to Hallmark or some other store whose primary business is selling cards when they need a greeting card.
Men head for Dollar Tree, Dollar General or Dollar Bill's, where cards are 2 for a buck and you can also get some peanuts, blank DVDs or a tire brush while you're there.
Women look through at least 67 cards before settling on one. They check them for humor, the picture, they read the verse aloud, they match it up with the perfect pastel color envelope, and then - this is key - they buy a backup just in case they change their mind about sending a humorous card vs a serious one with bluebirds tying ribbons around a little girl's hair.
Men find the one card that meets the occasion. The first one they find is fine, no matter if it's for a 38-year-old sister-in-law but it says "Happy Birthday 6-year-old!" They will grab any envelope on the rack and fold and bend the card to fit in it later. Men will not read the verse out loud or ask anyone if the words convey the depth of their love for Aunt Cecilia or Cousin Ursula. In fact, men act as if they are playing Time Bomb while they're in the card aisle, and if more than 17 seconds go by, they will be blown to smithereens.
But don't worry. There's a card for that, too.
The fact is, lots of men enjoy cooking and working things out in the kitchen, and plenty of women don't. And there are women who love to get out there on the lawn with the Toro and shape up the back 40 nicely, so what the heck? Do what you want to do! A lot of people can't boil water without burning it (or burning the house down) so it's best that someone fix dinner or it's gonna be takeout vs delivery every night.
There is one area in which I think, at least from what I've seen, the sexes tend to stick to their own behavior, and that is what happens when looking for greeting cards. These are true for MOST cases, so don't get too mad...
Women go to Hallmark or some other store whose primary business is selling cards when they need a greeting card.
Men head for Dollar Tree, Dollar General or Dollar Bill's, where cards are 2 for a buck and you can also get some peanuts, blank DVDs or a tire brush while you're there.
Women look through at least 67 cards before settling on one. They check them for humor, the picture, they read the verse aloud, they match it up with the perfect pastel color envelope, and then - this is key - they buy a backup just in case they change their mind about sending a humorous card vs a serious one with bluebirds tying ribbons around a little girl's hair.
Men find the one card that meets the occasion. The first one they find is fine, no matter if it's for a 38-year-old sister-in-law but it says "Happy Birthday 6-year-old!" They will grab any envelope on the rack and fold and bend the card to fit in it later. Men will not read the verse out loud or ask anyone if the words convey the depth of their love for Aunt Cecilia or Cousin Ursula. In fact, men act as if they are playing Time Bomb while they're in the card aisle, and if more than 17 seconds go by, they will be blown to smithereens.But don't worry. There's a card for that, too.
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