Toss it

I keep telling everyone that I would be glad to eat a salad with dinner every night! I'm not fond of a lot of green things - keep your peas and your okra - but you pile torn up lettuce and cherry tomatoes and slivers of carrot and celery and bleu cheese crumbles and anchovies in a bowl, and stand back out of the way!

There's also the Caesar salad - romaine lettuce, croutons, and Caesar dressing. But with that, the dressing is the big star, which, to me, is like having your socks be the main focus of your clothing. And the way they make such a big deal of it! Rubbing a half clove of garlic in the bowl of your bowl, and all that commotion!

There used to be a guy I knew who made salads for a swanky eatery. We called him "Edward Garlic-hands." Ditch* the garlic, double the anchovies, and let's have extra tomatoes and bleu crumbles.

*I almost said "86 the garlic" but we don't want to upset you-know-who.