Good advice costs nothing and it's worth the price

I would never presume to tell a woman what to do with her life, but I stumbled upon this list of  Things You Should Never Say to Your Partner ( According to Therapists) so I thought I would share it with you menfolk. Many's the time I have cringed while watching a man take his verbal shovel and dig himself a hole that would take anyone two weeks to crawl out of, so guys, pay heed...

Generalizations A sure way to end a meal is to say, "No one on earth could be a worse cook than you." Or how about, "You always order the worst kind of pizza that no one likes!" Bad for business. 

And the therapists say, this moves the discussion out of conversation mode and into attack zone. Suggestion: "Next time, could we look over the carryout menu again and order something we both like?"

My wife and I have been married for 50 years. We both love anchovies. Those two items are related.

Deflections When the other person brings up a significant concern, address it, and don't go, "Yeah but you forgot to return that book to the library." 

The therapists say that coming back with a big "but" just says you are perfunctorily acknowledging their concern, but you don't really validate it. Best reply is something like, "What I'm hearing is..." which honors their issue.

Comparisons are odious. I've even seen it written that they are "odorous," and either way, they are not fair. Best to avoid, "You should be more like (so and so)."

“You should be more like _____.” Comparing your partner with someone else is “never, ever a great strategy,” Gaines said.

Remembering that every person is different might help cut back on comparison. No one likes to hear that the neighbors are going out more, buying better cars, whatever. It's awful to hear that and feel you don't measure up, so don't throw that around. Keep it to the two of you.

Dismissals None of us are in the position of being able to determine if someone else's reactions are appropriate, and to tell someone that they are overreacting is just a way to minimize that person's feelings. The therapists recommend saying, "OK, I’m listening. Tell me more. Help me understand what you’re having a hard time with."

And for the record, can you think of a time when someone hollering, "Calm down!" resulted in anyone calming down? Me neither.

Better to understand you're both coming from different places, and try to see how an issue might be important to your partner for reasons you never understood before. 

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If you've read this far and are still looking for one of my corny jokes or pallid banalities, they took the day off today.