After while, crocodile

Seems to me, anyone with sense does not take their emotional support animal to a baseball game, especially when the ESA in question is an alligator.

But it happened in Philadelphia last week, a place where lots of odd things happen. A Phillies fan named Joie Henney showed up with his reptile to see the game. The alligator wears a harness vest with his name, "Wally," on one side.

And, even though you have to think this was a publicity stunt for Henney, he still played it out straight, walking up to the ballpark gates before being given the bum's rush: Citizens Bank Park policy states: "Certified service dogs or service dogs in training for guests with special needs are welcome. All other animals are prohibited."

Folks in the know say that cats have been admitted to major league games, those meanies in Philly would not make an exception for Wally.

Henney told the newspaper up in Phila that "the gator has never bitten anyone" (editor's note; YET!) and the big green thing helps him battle depression. And guess what? Wally has his own Instagram acct. (@wallygatornjoie) and a TikTok too.

Henney claims he shares a bed with this monster and that the monster gives people hugs. And, no surprise, the alligator helps him with his depression.

That's fine, but he needs to see that the very thought of an alligator getting loose and slithering its way through a crowd of baseball fans might, I don't know, upset some folks? Nah, never thought of that, because that would take some thinking outside the box labelled "My personal ego gratification at the expense of the safety of others."

Is there any chance that Noah is coming back to round up some of these carnivores?