Up On The Roof

You know how you'll see something every day for months and months, and then, one day, it's gone?  

And you don't notice that it's gone at first? It finally dawned on me that the bank around the corner from our house has gone. I guess they emptied the vault before they split, but the only way I noticed it (finally) was that I was at the stoplight the other day and did not see the armed guard who was always on duty. So, they're gone, and I guess a nail salon will be moving in next. 

And the commercial on TV with the unctuous announcer droning on hypnotically about the product he pitches that will ab-so-lutely guarantee no more leaves, pine cones, and stray tennis balls will find homes in your rain gutter...I haven't seen him since Hector was a pup. There are dozens of those companies, all selling the same type of product, and all claiming to be so vastly superior to the other competing firms that it hardly seems fair for them to try to stay in business.

Gutter Guard. Gutter Guys. Gutter Helmet. Gutters R Us. Mr. Gutter. Harry Helmet. Gutter Brothers. Leaf Guard. Leaf Me Alone. 

OK, I made up that last one, but you see the point - so many companies, and so many claims for keeping debris out of the gutters. Some of the ads show the catastrophic damage you might suffer, should you not get one of these "systems" (it's always a "system," not just some sheet metal) up there by this weekend!

These people sell their "systems" by scaring you into thinking that your abode will crumble like a house of cards, the next big rain that comes through. It's like that deal that the new car dealers used to sell people on undercoating and waxy finishes...you don't want your new Oldsmobile to turn into a Rustmobile, do you now?  Let's get that baby undercoated and let's dull the finish with a hundred layers of polymer resin for just, oh let's say, we'll lock you in for a mere $1100 tonight, before the price increase tomorrow!

Ask you something? If these gutter deals were so important and necessary, don't you think new homebuilders would put them on in the first place?