Regrets! I've had a few REGRETS! That's all.
But not as many as the film crew on the beef commercial where we see a fly walking around on top of the new hunk of Brie Cheese.
I know it's hard to see him in this photo, but trust me, he's marching to Pretoria right on that cheese in the commercial. I wonder if he's related to the fly that landed on Mike Pence's hair helmet during the vice-presidential debate a couple of years ago. I don't like flies much but at least I don't pretend they don't exist.
I regret not calling Pence during that televised debate to let him know.
And this is for real. I regret not getting a copy of the ninth-grade Civics Book I studied at the dear destroyed Towsontown Junior High School. There was a chapter about the Bill of Rights, and along with an explanation of the First Amendment (Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances) there was a picture of people peacefully assembling somewhere on New Year's Eve, a vast crowd of people blowing horns and wearing funny hats and doing conga dances, and down in the lower right corner were two raffish young men displaying the rigid digit. You know, flipping the camera off. Giving the bird. Showing half a peace sign.
How that picture escaped the sight of the author of the textbook (probably called something like "The American Parade" by Roger Nussbaum Von Loon), the editors, the printer, and the people who bought the books for the school system to bore teach us with is beyond me, but if you learn nothing else from me this entire new calendar year, please let it be this: You could print a 1,000 page textbook and fill it with pictures, charts, graphs, and I don't know what-all else, and plop a copy of that meatloaf in front of a 14-year-old boy, and if there is a picture anywhere in it of a dude giving the Jersey salute, the kid will find it within thirty seconds and show it to his friends within thirty-five.
1 comment:
How I missed that I'll never know! Maybe it was not an oversight at all -- perhaps old Von Loon included it as an "Easter Egg," after the tradition that software developers honor when they include a whimsical image or message that is only accessible using a secret, unlikely combination of keystrokes or mousings.
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