Monday, May 18, 2020

I myth you

There are many differences between humans and animals. Humans are the only inhabitants of earth who willingly eat chickpeas, find an evening watching "The Phantom Of The Opera" an enchanting way to pass the time, and read bodice-ripping romance novels on the beach.  Most squirrels know nothing of Nora Roberts or Nicholas Sparks, and look how happy they are!

Animals accept nature, since they are part of it. We fight back at every turn, since we want to be large and in charge of everything. Animals hear thunder or big winds, and they just figure it's time to curl up and nap for a while, and then go find some berries or something later.

Humans jump up from their chairs, run to the porch, cry, "What the deuce was that?" and get all worked up.  And then they ask each other what it was, and call the guy down the street who always watches The Weather Channel.

We demand explanations, and more often than not, we want explanations of the inexplicable.

Let's say you were an ancient Greek. We'll call you "Stephanopoulos."  One day, you were sitting around the house when an enormous peal of thunder rocked all of Athens.  You went over to ask your neighbor Savalas what happened in the sky.  Neither of you were versed in modern meteorology, but in order to satisfy the need you have to understand what was going on, you and Savalas concoct a story - the Greek word for story is "mythos" - that involves three brothers. In your story, Poseidon was in charge of the seas, Hades ran the underworld, and Zeus ruled the sky.

The way you and Savalas told it, old Zeus could throw lightning bolts around when he was mad, and that's how we get thunder and lightning.

These ancient myths were how people could sleep at night without being tormented by not knowing all the mysteries of life, how natural phenomena occur, and why Coke always tasted better in those little bottles.

When the Romans came along, they reinterpreted the Greek myths to suit their own ideas. They took the Greek God of love, a fellow named Eros, and called him "Cupid," based on the Latin word for desire.  Cupid was pictured as having wings (because love is like a butterfly) and being boyish, because love makes no sense and neither do boys.

And don't forget the Mayans, down Mexico way. They came up with a god of wind and storm named Huracan, and he had charge of the natural elements.  We still use his name every year from June 1 through November 1: it's Hurricane Season.

Ancient people thought of earthquakes as the result of some god or other being mad at earth, so he or she shook the world to get us to calm down up there!

Today, with our superior wisdom, we know that pandemic viruses are part of nature, and we will conquer them as we always have, and we are sure that the guy who co-founded Microsoft did not cook up the virus in his diabolic quest to make everyone run out and get a new iPhone.

At least, most of us are.

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