Taking arrest

A guy named Brendan McLoughlin became a New York City police officer, and somewhere along the line he met Miranda Lambert, the country singer who used to be married to that Blake Shelton guy.

Last month, McLoughlin retired from the cops and now works as a security guard for his wife, Miranda Lambert! How about that! Those crazy kids got married a year ago and now he's traded in his NYPD Blue for an official Miranda lanyard.

"His current duty status is retired," Sergeant Jessica McRorie, an NYPD Deputy Chief for Public Information Spokesperson, told Fox News.  He had been on a leave of absence since last summer.

Now, wherever she goes, and performs, he's more than just the guy holding her purse while she tries on frocks and more than the guy in the front row cheering and waving a tshirt with her picture on it.

She's on her "Wildcard" tour, and former officer McLoughlin is right there on the security team. And if you're lucky enough to be invited to a meet and greet for a grip and grin with Miranda, he's the guy who lets you into the inner sanctum. He checks the eddying mob backstage and looks through everyone's purses and bags before they meet their favorite singer.

"Brendan was the security guard right before you go in to meet Miranda for her meet and greet," some eyewitness told Foxxxxx News. "Other members of the security team told fans, 'No photos with Brendan.'"

Is there a demand for pictures of the star singer's husband?

And then, another eyewitness told F. News that McLoughlin was part of  Lambert's security team at her Dallas concert at the American Airlines Center. .

"Brendan was one of the security guys checking fans and when it was your turn it was actually Brendan asking if fans had anything they wanted Miranda to sign," said the witness. "Brendan was overheard telling one fan, 'Have her sign your boot!'"

The witnesses happily told Fox "Brendan wears a lanyard representing he's on Miranda's team and he even wears a little earpiece."

I guess he's got the whole Secret Service affect down...wire frame sunnies and furtive looks all over the crowd.

Miranda performed and Brendan did security duty for the 2020 Coors Light Birds Nest which, as we all know, took place during the Waste Management Phoenix Open golf tournament in Phoenix, Ariz. in late January.

Say what you will about my disdain for golf, but you can't tell me a better name for a golf tournament than The Waste Management Tournament."

I guess he was smart to hold onto his regular police job while they went through that crucial first year of marriage, but I would have to wonder if he doesn't feel a bit...marginalized, going from respected community server to patting down people waiting to tell a singer that they have all her albums "and everything!"

We're in an epoch now in which we can all take turns feeling canalized, moved to a less important lane. I remember being in a little resort-town sandwich shop when a male and a female were working behind the counter making subs.  Apparently she had decided that he was going to take a less important role in the upcoming lunch rush, but, "You're not going to marginalize ME!" he inveighed.

And that was over a matter of who made the BLTs and who fried burger patties.

Whereas, this is a matter of hefting purses, looking for revolvers or other weapons.

Of course, he probably got a nice raise. I hope there's some job security, working security.