Money talks, and says goodbye for five months

Because my father was in the Navy in World War II, serving aboard the USS Delta, he was served Spam (the meat byproduct, not the fake email) as often as three meals a day. One result of this was his lifelong disdain for fatty canned meat foods, so we never once had it for any meal around the house when I was supposed to be growing up.

Not that I am any kind of gourmet, but I never eat circus peanuts (or their bastard cousin candy corn), cilantro, beets, bologna, baloney, hummus, anything that looks like hummus, and anything pumpkin spiced.

And Hot Pockets! Never had one. If I want a calzone, there are plenty of sub shops around to find a good calzone, so why get some frozen substitute?

And don't even mention that they have a Hot Pockets Breakfast fruit pastry.

I am glad to be no fan of the Hot Pocket, now that Michelle Janavs, the daughter of the co-founder of the brand, owned up to being one of those helicopter moms who paid big money to have their unqualified children get into college.  In her case, she reached into her hot pocket and pulled out $200,000 to have her daughter get into the University of Southern California.  It's all part of that “Varsity Blues” uni admissions scandal. Last week, she was sent to the Ironbar Hilton for five months.

Wondering if they serve Hot Pockets in prison

For the record, here's the apology she uttered: “I am so very sorry that I tried to create an unfair advantage for my children,” Janavs said, telling U.S. District Judge Nathaniel Gorton that she decided to lie and cheat because she loves her children so doggone much.

Gorton pointed out that the “vast majority of parents do not brazenly try to push their kids in the side door…They don’t love their children any less than you do. They just play by the rules of common decency and fair play.”

Janavs also thought it a good idea to shell out $100,000 for an ACT proctor who corrected her daughters' exam before turning them in to be graded.

Sing along with Hall and Oates: "You're a rich girl, and you've gone too far."  America's too-wealthy class never lets me down.