Bye Bye

Down in Baltimore City (we live in the County, totally separate jurisdiction) they had a mayor, Catherine Pugh, as crooked as dog's hind leg.  She had a racket where she wrote some dumb "Healthy Holly" books and sold them for exorbitant sums, purportedly for distribution to school-age kids in town.  But she sold them to various people and what's more, she failed to produce books that she had sold in bulk, and double-sold others, and then failed to pay taxes on all these ill-gotten gains.

Be honest about it, I thought she lost her mind in all this. When the house of cards came tumbling down around her, she appeared in her office speaking on television in a soporific monotone, and rather than make some attempt at justifying her behavior ("You see, it happened like this...") she unveiled her new line of “Healthy Holly” brand baby clothes and accessories, i.e. bibs, clothing and a baby blanket.

When the scheme fell apart, Pugh resigned the mayoralty and pleaded guilty at her trial in February to conspiracy and tax evasion. She raked in more than $850,000.

So here comes the interesting part. This woman, who seemed so prim and proper and intent on leading the city back from the ruins of the 2015 riots, was sentenced to three years in the Ironbar Hilton, and was told to report for her striped suit on April 13.

And then in the period between when she was sentenced to prison and the time she was to show up, she wrote to the judge and asked for a two-week delay in reporting.

Why?

Her legal wiz, Andrew White, said the extension was to allow herhonor “to remain at her house until her niece, who lives with her at the residence, has completed the current school semester at the University of Maryland Law School.”

And White said that Assistant U.S. Attorney Marty Clarke, who prosecuted Pugh, was ok with this.

So, “in light of the government’s lack of opposition," U.S. District Judge Deborah K. Chasanow approved the request.

Pugh is 69. Her mouthpieces said that they only expect her to serve but a bit of her bid, due to recent legislation aimed at cutting down the number of nonviolent, old offenders in federal prisons.

That's fine for her. Shift around the prison term to suit her needs. I just know that if I were convicted of some felony - a pyramid scheme involving the Sphinx, or money laundering with Tide Pods - a team of no fewer than six beefy deputies would have me manacled and shackled by the time the judge cracked down the gavel the second time, dragging me off to some dank cell in the Seventh Circle of Hell as waiting friends and family members sobbed and waved soggy handkerchiefs.  And don't forget the scene where I snarl, "I'll get you for this, you dirty rat!" to some passerby who had nothing to do with any of my sins.

That's how it goes when you're a nobody. Catherine Pugh was somebody, so she can report to serve her stretch when her social calendar is cleaned up.