Chicken Dance

For crying out loud, I love fried chicken! Of course, Friendly Farm has the best, but closer to home, I go with Popeye's, KFC, or Royal Farms.

I don't like Chick-fil-A at all, and not because of their corporate stances, either. It's the greasy slab of chicken on a spongy white hamburger roll I disdain.

No, gimme that chicken on the bone, please. I have seen people eat a sandwich consisting of two pieces of white bread above and below a fried chicken breast, and the people eat around the bone. None of that for me, please. Just a chicken box, the 8-pack, if you will, and pass the hot sauce.  Texas Pete, if you will.

But the furor over this new thing at Popeye's! They came out with a sandwich and people were spending their entire lunch hour driving from Popeye's to Popeye's looking for the daggone thing, and no luck.

The cynic in me might want to hint that the top brass at the chain decided to pull the old trick whereby they create demand and shorten the supply, thereby creating MORE demand and allowing them to raise the prices. America's oil barons have been doing this for years, and many of you will recall the time that the price of sugar went way up and so the soda manufacturers had to apologize, but they had to raise the price of their colas because the ingredients were so expensive now.

Also, they raised the price of their diet sodas, which contain not a grain of sugar.

Hmm.

Anyway, say hi to Craig Barr, a Tennessee man who says he spent "countless time driving" to every Popeye's in his town never did find that sammy.

"I can't get happy; I have this sandwich on my mind. I can't think straight," Craig Barr told The Chattanooga Times Free Press on Thursday. "It just consumes you."

So, this being America in 2019, he did the only reasonable thing.

He SUED.


Barr is accusing Popeyes of deceptive business practices and false advertising, the Times Free Press reported.

He claims that a guy who said he worked for Popeye's took $25 from him behind a restaurant and said he'd be right back with a sandwich.

Guess what?

He never saw the man again. 

He also wants the chicken chain to pay him because, in his haste to race from one outlet to another, he blew out a tire and wrecked his rim.

And also, he felt humiliated because his friends laughed at him over this sandwich quest.

Once he gave the scammer the money, he never saw him again, Barr said. He also claimed he blew out a tire and damaged a rim driving from one Popeyes to another and was humiliated when his friends laughed at his ordeal.

But $5,000 will help balm his soul.

"It's totally deceptive. Who runs out of chicken? It's a big fiasco," he told the paper. "Someone has to stand up to Big Corporate. Everyone is captivated by these sandwiches."

The paper left messages with Restaurant Brands International, owner of the Miami-based chicken chain, but they did not hear back yet.

I'm sure that now that all the news programs have covered America's desire to shove chicken sandwiches down our neck, we will all have one by Halloween.

And if Mr Barr gets his five large as a result of the suit, he can buy me one.