Another feckless, futile plan

Did you ever wonder what it would be like to have nothing to do for a weekend?

If you can stand the two-hour wait between the time "The View" goes off and "The Talk" comes on, you might try retirement.

Otherwise, go fool around pretending to storm Area 51.  See what happens!

You might have heard about this. Area 51 is a vast area in the western US - the Nevada desert, to be precise. It was set aside during the Cold War between the US and those dirty Russian commies, whom we once hated and now cozy up to, as a place to test aircraft.

But no one unauthorized is allowed to prowl around the place, and naturally this gives rise to all sort of nutty notions, including the claim that an "alien spacecraft" that crashed in Roswell, New Mexico, in 1947 is stashed away there, along with the bodies of its spacemen.

How do we know the spacemen died, anyway?  Can't they survive anything, like E.T?

Earlier this year (here comes the part about nothing to do) some weisenheimers posted an event to Facebook and said "Here's what we'll do! On September 20, let's all storm the gates at Area 51! They can't stop us! We'll just get all worked up and run through the gates! Yeeeeeehaaaa!"

The Grand Parade of Nerds

They should have promised free Skittles or something.  Only a couple  thousand people unmoored to reality made the trek to the  “Storm Area 51” celebration. Five people were arrested: three of them for trespassing on the restricted military base, one for voiding his bladder in the entrance area, and we do not know the nature of the charges against the fifth detainee. I'm guessing that "Humming Dave Matthews and Phish tunes too loudly in public" might be a possibility.

You are not welcome here.

And further dampening the ardor of the easily ardent, the military put out what might be called a provocative tweet, showing a group of military folks around a stealth bomber and proclaiming that to be the very last thing any raiders would see.

Lighten up, Francis.

The tweet - now deleted - "in no way" reflects the stance of the US Military, according to the US Military.


What the would-be raiders did not know is that the government has a secret detachment called Squad 51 to protect the base.

 Squad 51.  KMG365.

We can only assume that the would-be raiders have all returned to their normal daily inactivities.