Your hypothalamus is trying to talk to you

My doctor was telling me the other day that the reason we People Of A Certain Age cough after meals is because there is neurological confusion between our salivary glands and our mucus glands.  While we chow down, the saliva flows, and then we stop and the mucus glands get the opposite message, and our throats get all tickly, and sure enough, as they say at funerals, here comes the "coughin'."

My doctor is a great guy and thoroughly learned in the medical arts. I am borderline acceptable in most situations, and nowhere near his equal in doctor-type knowledge, of course, although I can hold my own in a game of "Operation." 

I have to hold my own; they don't allow someone else to hold your probe.

But there are many other cases in which parts of the body get mixed up; although I did not share all this with Dr D, I can cite countless examples of intra-body confusion.  Such as when someone has their head in totally the wrong area, resulting in a severe case of rectal-cranial inversion.

You see a lot of this being reported lately, and to our shame it is totally a male problem.  They say men have two brains, and the trouble begins when they start doing all their thinking with the smaller one, if you follow.

How many times have you loaded up a plate at a buffet, and then couldn't get all those meatballs and chicken wings down your gullet? A perfect case of your eyes being bigger than your stomach.

People who dance like the south end of a horse heading north often say they have two left feet, but just try buying them shoes.

When we count our body parts, we are often reminded of why The Creator gave us two ears, to listen twice as much as talk.

We may never know why our tear ducts begin to flow at weddings, and why we laugh at funerals. I mean, it's understandable in the case of Chuckles the Clown dressed as a peanut and crushed by a rogue elephant, but why the tears at a wedding (unless we know the husband-to-be is a total drip)?