Friday, December 22, 2017

Rerun from the time someone challenged me to state 100 facts about myself

100 Things About Me



1. I like online jigsaw puzzles

2. I like tea in the morning and coffee every night after dinner

3. I don’t like noises from outside of the house, especially loud car stereos

4. I’m more likely to be hot than cold

5. I love football and baseball jerseys and my favorite is the Browns home jersey (brown and orange)

6. I would love to write a book, but who would read it?

7. Bad spelling annoys me but bad grammar is worse

8. I hate liars

9. I like people-watching and find it endlessly fascinating

10. I like to drive, except in the city

11. I get crazy leg cramps while asleep

12. I believe in the spirit of Elvis

13. I wonder if newspaper advice columnists ever make up the letters they answer

14. I believe in fate and signs and certain personal superstitions

15. I never cry

16. I think the lyrics to a song are far more important than the music

17. I am loved by someone special

16. I could live the rest of my life without chocolate

17. I like to drink beer in a frozen mug

18. I used to drink Coke but have not had a soda of any sort since June 2005

19. I like to ride the exercise bike while watching sitcoms

20. I have a bizarrely good memory for dates and a terrible memory for names

21. I hate Brussels sprouts and lima beans

22. I hate bullies even though my size and quick tongue kept me from being their victim

23. I am a Cancer born on 6/30, but so is Mike Tyson: so what good is astrology?

24. I believe that an occasional flareup helps relieve built-up tensions at work

25. I have never failed to vote in any election since I registered to vote in 1972. George McGovern.

26. I have lost too many friends and loved ones to cancer (actually, one is too many)

27. I think the glass is half full - I am basically optimistic

28. I keep promising myself to never split infinitives

29. I can’t stand bad table manners

30. I used to love country music but now it seems banal in its present state

31. I love to drive around in my truck with Peggy, looking at changing leaves in the fall, and Christmas lights

32. I believe I am relatively easy to please but I can see how others might not agree with that

33. I love music with saxophones, ukuleles and accordions

34. I used to go to grocery stores where no one knew me, speak with a quasi-European accent, and ask a clerk, “Please to tell, where are ze potato cheeps?”

35. I love being married

36. I can speak Spanish well enough to get by and sometimes think in Spanish to keep it sharp in my mind

37. I would love to learn ventriloquism

38. I love words and etymology

39. I want more time to read

40. I am a morning person

41. I began watching TV news fanatically when I was 5

42. I’m generally happy

43. If you are sick or injured, I will be glad to help take care of you

44. Wind chimes irritate me

45. I like reading newspapers and at one time was plowing through four per day

46. I wonder about California: they send their drunk-driving celebrities to jail and their murdering celebrities get off scot-free

47. I love to wear shorts outside in the winter

48. I have a friend whose ex-husband’s mother was the cook for a prison in Alabama, and I wanted to meet her to swap creamed chipped beef recipes

49. I miss the anticipation of getting pictures back from the photo developing shop - digital photography just might catch on!

50. I love popcorn but the smell of the fake butter makes me nauseated, so I have to search hither and yon for “natural” flavor nukecorn

51. I love old New Yorker and Life magazines for the slices of old-time life they provide

52. I love to cast actors to play my family, friends and co-workers in the forthcoming movie of my life - Drew Carey as me, Edward G. Robinson as my grandfather

53. I can drive a manual transmission vehicle

54. When I had an assistant, I had the greatest assistant in the working world

55. I have forsworn many of my OCD traits but I will never yield on my stance on punctuality - I am fanatically early for everything

56. I like a beer with my dinner but I can live without it

57. When I was a kid, I would spend hours reading the Information Please Almanac and the World Book Encyclopedia- that‘s why I love surfing the net - so much information to be gleaned!

58. I love the oral histories written by Studs Terkel and love to hear people’s reminiscences on my own

59. I think that Norm MacDonald is one of the funniest human beings

60. Bad pronunciation bugs me

61. I have never eaten venison, nor rabbit, nor buffalo

62. I love it when pompous blowbags use malapropisms

63. I’m considered witty

64. Favorite snack: handful of mixed nuts

65. I have absolutely zero talent at acting, which puts me in some highly-paid company (Hi there, Jim Belushi!)

66. I was well into my 50’s before I realized that people would just as soon NOT have their grammar, spelling or pronunciation corrected.

67. I have never been arrested

68. I was the last person in the world to get digital cable, as far as I know

69. I sing along in the truck but I am a terrible singer

70. I don’t know whether Phil Spector killed that woman, but I sure know he made some of the greatest records ever

71. I am a Maryland native

72. I had almost no self-confidence growing up and then one day I said, hey what the hell, I’m good enough

73. I love listening to old-time radio shows such as Phil Harris, Jack Benny and the Great Gildersleeve

74. I laugh a lot and hope to make others laugh, the better to share the maxim “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine”

75. I believe in karma

76. There are times when nothing will do for dinner but McDonald’s

77. I get cranky when I’m tired or hungry

78. I was pleasantly surprised at how much more courteous Southern drivers were than Northerners when we went down South in ‘04

79. I am tremendously nostalgic about the 50’s and 60’s and have been known to visit my old public schools just to walk down the halls and bask in memories

80. I was a volunteer firefighter for 7 years and still claim kinship to the fire dept brother-and-sisterhood

81. I believe in love at first sight and my marriage is a testament to it

82. Like most Baltimoreans, I idolize Cal Ripken, Jr., and have always found him to be a kind and admirable person

83. I am an Orioles and Ravens fan but I don’t take it as a personal shortcoming if the teams don’t do so well

84. When Oprah was a local Baltimore newscaster, I grew so tired of her grammatical errors that I called channel 13 and asked them to counsel her against saying “Join Richard Sher and I this morning at 9...”

85. I wonder why anyone takes what they read in the gossip magazines to be any kind of true

86. I love driving my pickup truck and can’t imagine not having one

87. I love a band called LOVE from the late 60’s and no one else I know does!

88. At 6’ 5”, I have come to know the look of a woman in the grocery store who cannot quite reach the Vienna sausage, fig newtons or hoisin sauce on the back of the top shelf, and I’ll be glad to help

89. I bought a professional hair trimmer so Peggy can keep me buzz-cut in between visits from Gail, our tonsorial artiste

90. I like to use 50’s-hepcat words for money, like “semolian” for dollars, “sawbuck” for 10 dollars and “yard” for 100 bucks.

91. If I like a joke, you can count on hearing it again for 20 or 30 years

92. I don’t like going to the movies anymore because of the boorish way people behave - talking, phones ringing, etc

93. I love pop songs sung by Sammy Davis, Jr., Bing Crosby and Matt Monro

94. I was an A&P grocery clerk before I became a young DJ

95. I love my job but my dream job has always been to be the booth announcer on a game show (“Tell her what she’s won, Mark!” “Be glad to, Bob! First, a year’s supply of Turtle Wax, a case of Rice-A-Roni, the San Francisco treat, and a new gas range from Tappan - Tappan: the leader in kitchen appliances since 1888”)

96. I have plenty of faults, but I do think I can cheer people up when they need it

97. I prefer to shave with a razor; it gives a much cleaner shave than an electric

98. I will never forget the night a friend called and asked what I was doing and I answered, “I’m organizing my spare light bulbs by size and wattage” and I don’t think she believed me

99. I talk back to the television but I never get an answer

100. My heart still skips a beat when I see my wife

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