Read all about it

It doesn't cost much to have a newspaper delivered right to the house, and I get a huge amount of enjoyment out of reading The Baltimore Sun, a fresh copy of which gets tossed onto our yard out of a speeding auto every morning at about 0530 hrs.  

In just one Sunday edition from June 2, I learned the following information which stunned me:


 - - Morning news anchor Patrice Sanders of local FOX affiliate WBFF TV got into a set-to with Dr Andres Alonso, the hapless outgoing boss of the Baltimore City School Board.  The interview concerned an audit that revealed that millions of dollars in tax money given to the remarkably inefficient city school system had been wasted.  In other words, Ms Sanders was asking why school buildings are unrepaired and students are unprepared while 28 parents in some sort of PTA program chowed down on fried chicken and potato salad at a price of $99 per person.  Dr Alonso, unable to cite a single positive aspect of his woeful stewardship of the schools, argued that Sanders was using "dog whistle terms," but he failed to explain how anyone could spend 99 bucks on a chicken dinner. No mention was even made of the insanity of spending that much on a chicken dinner, or pheasant under glass, or Chateaubriand or filet mignon or giant prawns. But he got all out of joint about it.    

  - -  Then I breezed over to the sports pages, where I read that the three or four stupidest thieves in America are the dimwits who attempted to steal a truck belonging to Mr. Mike Adams.  Adams is an offensive lineman for the Pittsburgh Steelers, and even though he was stabbed in the fracas, the sight of his 6' 7", 323-lb. form running toward the crooks must have had at least one of them committing an act of involuntary defecation.  


 - -I don't know what you do for a living, nor do I even guess as to what you earn for doing it, but I read on the same page that baseball's disgraced all-time hits leader, Pete Rose, banned for life from the game for betting on the game, earns more than a million dollars per year for signing his name on things.  For that million dollars, Rose could come to Baltimore and purchase 10,101 fried chicken dinners!