You've been Leo-poled

Unless Pee Wee Herman or Bill Belichick (both well-known television clowns) were to become county executive in Baltimore County, the sought-after title of "Funniest County In Maryland" rests comfortably in the lap of Anne Arundel County.


We talked once or twice before about what goes on down there.  The corruption is so rampant that it shames the rest of us.  There is so much of it down there that when someone is actually indicted, it's like when Steven Adler was thrown out of Guns 'N' Roses for using too much heroin.

County Executive John Leopold is currently on trial in Circuit Court in Annapolis.  People all across the nation, yea, all across the world know Annapolis as the home of the US Naval Academy, the lovely port town where Walter Cronkite moored his sailboat, a tourist destination like few others.

But in a courtroom in that lovely city, people are hearing testimony about how Leopold:

• forced his police protective detail to drive him around and stand guard while he enjoyed oral sex in his official county car
• bragged to the cops that it was the best oral sex he had ever had
• paid officers overtime to watch the cash box at his campaign events
• told officers driving him around the county to pull over when they passed a campaign sign for his opponent so that Leopold could pull the sign out of the ground and toss it down an embankment
• had his security detail keep the woman he was running with from running into the woman he was living with
• and, most tastefully, Mr Leopold had the habit of making county employees empty his urine catheter bag

Of course, all these are just things that people are saying.  Under oath.  In court.  No one has been convicted of anything.  Yet.

Mr Leopold took office as county exec in 2006 after promising to hold down spending and save taxpayer money.  Taxpayers are now on the hook for a large bill from the law firm that the county hired to defend their frugal leader on charges of spending money foolishly for police overtime and running around the county like a teenager, having sex in the car the county supplies him for conducting official business.

You can see why he gets a lot of lovin'

One thing seems certain: as he approaches 70, Mr Leopold still enjoys the old slap-and-tickle.  I feel that he ought to leave public office so as to have more time to spend on his various female friends. If he gets the chance to do so, he should not blow it.

So to speak.