Easy as ABC

Down in Virginia, you have to buy hard liquor at a "state" store, called ABC.  I don't mean to imply that one HAS to buy liquor, just that if you're of a mind to indulge in spirits, you can't get it anywhere else but at a store meant to enrich the state from your consumption of Old Grandad.

As you might have heard, a raccoon gained entry to one of these stores in Ashland, VA, and helped himself to a good deal of hooch from the broken bottles it knocked to the floor.

And the next day, Rocky was found drunk as a lemur, in the men's room.

 

Virginia ABC, always looking to sell more firewater to all, whether they be two-legged or four, is now promoting three new cocktails in honor of the crapulous critter.

It took no time at all for the ABC people to come up with

•  Rye Rascal Sour 
•  Trash Panda Old Fashioned 
•  and Midnight Gin Fizz

Special recipes are published on the VA ABC website, along with fanciful pictures of a raccoon sampling each tipple.

I feel bad for the raccoon, although I figure he's over his hangover now and back to eating whatever the local trash cans yield. He did not deserve this embarrassment.