Roll on

We used to have a Congress that would propose, discuss, and pass laws for the general welfare of the citizenry. When we weren't looking, that system was replaced by the chief executive firing off executive orders to suit his fancy, which is pretty fancy.

The one that caught my eye the other day requires commercial truck drivers in the United States to be proficient in English.

“Every day, truckers perform the demanding and dangerous work of transporting the Nation’s goods to businesses, customers, and communities safely, reliably, and efficiently,” says the order, and now, the nation that had to go to the trouble of designating English as its official language is going to stop truck drivers and give them a test on past participles, the subjunctive mood, and the difference between "retired" and "re-tired."

The order goes on to demand that drivers be able to to read and speak English “sufficiently to converse with the general public” if they want to drive a commercial vehicle around these here parts.

All you big 18-wheelin' good buddies out there, get ready for the test. I'm part of the general public, and my standards for literacy are high. You'll be required to write an essay on Thackeray, discuss alternative methods of sentence patterning, and recite from memory any favorite verse from an American poet while backing up your truck.

Watch for the xenophobes to be all over this one, but let me tell you something I know about new Americans. They understand what you're saying. They might not want to give you the satisfaction of letting you know that they know, but they know.