Give me your tired, your poor, and your money

By the time one gets to be 85 years of age, most people, at least, have figured out the path forward, and have put it in autopilot for the descent.

I don't know any other way to say it, but if you don't have your life plan in place by the time you hit four score and five, you might as well forget it.

OR, you can be like Televangelist Jim Bakker, who with his bizarre wife Tammy Faye was deep into one of the biggest religious scandals since someone swiped the bingo money. Jimbo says he’s in desperate need of cash right now, and if you don't shell out a million clams but quick, he will lose errthang and be homeless.

I'll wait while you dry your eyes.

“If everyone that watches this program will give $1,000, we’ll be able to pay our bills and stay on the air,” he said on his show the other day. “Otherwise we got about another, maybe a month.”

And... 

“If they foreclose on this ministry, they will take my house too, so I’ll be on the street,” he said.

He says he doesn't take a salary out of the all the moolah he rakes in, and that he has no money to call his own. He even adds that an unnamed "they" has been ripping him off for millions! 

It seems that his financial woes began during the pandemic, when he began selling something called "Silver Solution," which he said was an "Enhanced Colloidal Silver Liquid – Ultimate Immune Support Supplement... Immunity Boost & Immune Booster for Adults.

One of the inevitable lawsuits that landed on his altar wound up as a settlement with the Missouri attorney general that involved a restitution of $156,000.

Like all these shifty sinbusters, Bakker used the threat of impending bankruptcy to beg his flock to sheepishly replenish his coffers.

And now he goes with this hoary pitch: if you give him your money, "I guarantee you God’s going to do something. God’s gonna bless you as you give, because when you give, you’re gonna receive.”

And while he asks for your money to line his future with your gold, he continues to claim that we are in the "end times," so he is selling food buckets and prepper items on his shows and website.

So stock up on food for the future that might not take place.

Sounds right.