Friday, March 29, 2019

They dig dinosaurs

Will Rogers once said, "Everyone is ignorant, just on different topics." What the old Oklahoma cowboy was saying there was that everyone has gaps in their learning.  I happen to know a little kid whose knowledge of dinosaurs far eclipses mine. 

As a matter of fact, his knowledge of eclipses, uh, surpasses mine.

I don't know Jack about dinosaurs, and that's never more apparent than when someone mentions the world's largest T-Rex skeleton showing up in Canada the other day. My first thought went to the British glam band fronted by Marc Bolan, who gave the world songs like "Jeepster," "Bang A Gong," "Hot Love," "Telegram Sam," and the lyrical "There Was A Time/Raw Ramp/Electric Boogie." 

I don't get tattoos, only because doing so would make me unable to donate blood for a year (and I love those Red Cross pretzels!) but if I did etch words on my skin, surely these T-Rex lyrics would be among them:

There was a time everything was fine
You could drink all the day
Like it was wine
And all the children
They put flowers in their hair
And all the grown-ups
They put daggers there instead.
 I don't think that anyone ever encapsulated the difference between crusty old timers and wistful youth quite so well.

But the world's largest T-Rex did show up the other day, having waited for his ride since 68,000,000 years ago, so we might as well have him over for dinner. Scientists figure that, fully fleshed out, this dude weighed in at 19,500 pounds, which is about enough to qualify him for his own TV show.


Paleontologists have nicknamed him "Scotty," because they passed around a nice bottle of scotch while they looked him over.

At length, they discovered a Bedrock legal ID in his pocket that indicates he lived to be 28 or so, which (they say) is far above the average lifespan of a T-Rex. 

Marc Bolan himself, leader of the T-Rex band, lived to be almost 30, losing his life in a car wreck in September, 1977...a month after Elvis died, and a month before Bing Crosby bought the farm.

That was a rough time for my music, with three of my favorites dying in a row, but people call me a dinosaur, so...



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