Wednesday, June 22, 2016

There should be Forever Cards to go along with Forever Stamps

I despise gender characterizations such as "men should be the ones to cut the grass" and "women should cook and clean in the kitchen." They don't make sense in a modern world, never really did. I guess they just used to be accepted, but that didn't make them right.

The fact is, lots of men enjoy cooking and working things out in the kitchen, and plenty of women don't. And there are women who love to get out there on the lawn with the Toro and shape up the back 40 nicely, so what the heck?  Do what you want to do! A lot of people can't boil water without burning it (or burning the house down) so it's best that someone fix dinner or it's gonna be takeout vs delivery every night.

There is one area in which I think, at least from what I've seen, the sexes tend to stick to their own behavior, and that is what happens when looking for greeting cards. These are true for MOST cases, so don't get too mad...

Women go to Hallmark or some other store whose primary business is selling cards when they need a greeting card.

Men head for Dollar Tree, Dollar General or Dollar Bill's, where cards are 2 for a buck and you can also get some peanuts, blank DVDs or a tire brush while you're there.

Women look through at least 67 cards before settling on one. They check them for humor, the picture, they read the verse aloud, they match it up with the perfect pastel color envelope, and then - this is key - they buy a backup just in case they change their mind about sending a humorous card vs a serious one with bluebirds tying ribbons around a little girl's hair.

Image result for time bomb gameMen find the one card that meets the occasion. The first one they find is fine, no matter if it's for a 38-year-old sister-in-law but it says "Happy Birthday 6-year-old!" They will grab any envelope on the rack and fold and bend the card to fit in it later. Men will not read the verse out loud or ask anyone if the words convey the depth of their love for Aunt Cecilia or Cousin Ursula. In fact, men act as if they are playing Time Bomb while they're in the card aisle, and if more than 17 seconds go by, they will be blown to smithereens.

Image result for blown to smithereens
But don't worry.  There's a card for that, too. 

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