Having only recently joined the ranks of people who get to stay home all day, I have just found out that there are TV shows on the cable all day for people who are home all day. And these shows teach us many interesting things about our fellow citizens.
This show called "Today" taught me the other day that today, a man named Hooker, 43, a former high school teacher, left his wife and three kids for an 18-year-old that he taught - in the same school that one of his daughters still attends. She left her home too, and now the two crazy love birds are shackin' up out there in Modesto, California, home of the minor league baseball team the Modesto Nuts. The young lady's mother is handling this in the perfect 2012 fashion. She didn't go to the school board, nor did she call the police. She has opened a Facebook page calling for something to be done.
The guy's daughter is a junior in the high school. You don't think she's having a very good spring semester, do you?
And the young lady in question, Jordan Powers, is planning to go to nursing school, which ought to come in handy in future years.
And then, watching a show called Good Morning, America, I learned that in Dunwoody, GA, a man, name of Hemy Neuman, killed a guy named Rusty Sneiderman. Sneiderman, up until his death by shooting in the parking lot of a preschool, was married to Andrea Sneiderman. Neuman was really into old Andrea. They flirted via email, hugged and spooned on business trips, but Andrea did not do the one thing that would have made her available for Neuman: she did not leave Rusty. So Neuman gunned Rusty down. Hello, Neuman!
Typical story, heard dozens of times, right? Well. no, because the difference here is that, according to defense attorney Doug Peters, Neuman believed he had been visited by an angel and demon in the
forms of Olivia Newton-John and Barry White, respectively, who told him
that Sneiderman's children were his and that he needed to protect them
by killing her husband.
Olivia Newton John appeared to him, as if in a vision, and told him to off this other dude. A demonic Barry White concurred.
What I have learned so far by staying home is that staying home is the only safe way to stay safe. That's the first thing I learned, and the last. And everything.