The Lion Sleeps Tonight

This happened a week or so ago; a man named Gerson de Melo Machado, 19, clambered over a chain-link fence and down 18 feet to begin training for his intended career goal of being a lion tamer.

This all took place at Parque Zoobotânico Arruda Câmara in João Pessoa, a zoo in Brazil. The lioness waited patiently for him to arrive and then mauled and ate him as horrified visitors recoiled.

The zoo later said that the lioness will not be euthanized, as she is healthy, and has not exhibited violent tendencies before, and mainly because she was only doing what lions do when fools invade their homes. 

Remember, kids, whatever training you sign up for, don't start until your instructor arrives.

This brings to mind the recent news that the late comic Jackie Vernon (born Ralph Verrone), always in the public mind in December for having voiced "Frosty The Snowman," had started as many as three families with three women before marrying for the first time to a woman named Hazel, who had no idea how many branches were going to sprout on that family tree. 

As a standup comic, Jackie did a great bit in which he narrated slides from his summer vacation:

• "Here's me starting off on my vacation, driving away in my new car."
• "Here's a hitchhiker on the highway."
• "Here's me stopping to pick up the hitchhiker."
• "Here I am driving along with the hitchhiker in my car."
• "Here's the hitchhiker hitting me, throwing me out of my car, and driving away"
• "Here's me hitchhiking"
• "Here's the hitchhiker stopping to pick me up in my own car.."

The funny thing is that we all understand, on different levels, that bad people are going to do bad things, lions are going to eat you if you're foolish enough to invade their kingdoms, and "Qué Será, Será" (What Will Be, Will Be), a hit record for Doris Day from the movie "The Man Who Knew Too Much."

Looks like some of us don't know enough.