Out of the bag

When I was a kid, I didn't wish for things like go-karts and trips to a theme park based on a rodent, although Capybara Country would seem like a fun place right about now.

I used to wish to live in an abandoned school, where I would have plenty of room to collect rocks and snakeskins and display them, a gymnasium so I could play indoors on rainy days (or sunny days), a full industrial kitchen so I could roast and bake and deep-fry, an auditorium with a stage where I could declaim to my heart's content, a fully-equipped health suite to care for my sniffles and sprains, and a fully-stocked library.  What's not to like?

Now, if I were a cat, naturally I would choose to move into a fish market...or maybe a nice home improvement megastore, where I could find all manner of things to climb, cozy corners to sleep in, bag after bag of kibble and the occasional mouse for dinner, and a lot of people in and out, to scrinch my cheeks and the top of my head. Yes! Feline paradise!

There's a cat down in Richmond by the name of Francine. She's been living in a Lowe's on West Broad St for some eight years now and is the official unofficial mascot for the local branch of the hardware giant.

Recently, she was missing, and the employee family was worried that she got a better deal at a Long John Silver's or had been spirited away by a cat-worshipping group of Egyptians.

Francine was listed as missing in mid-September, and somehow, her co-workers deduced that she had gotten onto a delivery truck that took her away 85 miles to the chain's distribution center in Garysburg, N.C, a town that lives in my memory as being the home of a barbecue restaurant that once served me a plate of meat that was more than I could eat for dinner. Hard to believe, but true. 

Maybe that's why Francine wanted to go to Garysburg.

Anyhow, the workers in a giant warehouse looked all over for her, and even put thermal cat-seeking drones to aid in the search, and nothing. But you cat lovers will understand, Francine came out of hiding when she was damn well ready to, and not a moment before. 

They saw her on a security camera on October 4, rounded her up, and the manager, Wayne Schneider, and another guy from the store drove down to pick her up.

"She looked at us," Schneider said, "and gave this big meow like, 'What took you so long?'"

She's back at home base in Richmond now, and store staff are asking well-wishers to give her a couple of days of r&r to get over her vacation, after which she will be available for paw shakes and belly rubs.