What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.

I'm sure I told you before about my mid-80s lunchtime habit of going for a stroll around Towson, Maryland, my home town. In those days, it was actually possible to walk the streets of Towson without fearing loss of life from random gunfire, but such is not the case these days.

There was a lacrosse bar on the main street (York Rd - it takes you to York, PA!)  that had a caged parrot out by the sidewalk. Day after day, I walked up to the parrot and spent three or four minutes teaching him to denounce the current president, a former actor in bad movies who was badly playing the part of leader of the free world.  At the time, he was denying that the US had traded arms for hostages, only to come out later and admit that we had in fact traded arms for hostages, but people were unwilling to blame him because he came off like an unwitting addled fool when he explained his actions, much like a pixilated second cousin at Thanksgiving dinner.

I taught the parrot to chirp "Reagan lied! Reagan lied!" and the last time I saw him, he would still repeat it for me. 

I bring all this up because long-ago President Andrew Jackson - as coarse a man as ever lived at 1600 Pennsylvania Av until 2017 - had an African Grey parrot that he really loved. If "Old Hickory," a nickname given for his toughness, was away from the White House enjoying his usual pursuits, such as killing people in duels, buying slaves, engaging in barroom brawls, and building himself a mansion called The Hermitage, he would write to his family asking about "poor Poll's health."  Not "how are you doing?" but "how is my parrot?" Lovely man. He did beat a would-be assassin senseless, armed only with his walking stick, at the age of 67. 

Subtle re-creation

Jackson, our seventh president, died on June 8, 1945, and on June 10 his funeral was held, from which Poll had to be removed for cursing and swearing so long and so loudly that it was disturbing the attendees.

According to Reverend William Menefee Norment, who presided at Jackson’s funeral: 

“Before the sermon and while the crowd was gathering, a wicked parrot that was a household pet got excited and commenced swearing so loud and long as to disturb the people and had to be carried from the house.”

Rev. Norment goes on to say the presidential parrot was “excited by the multitude and … let loose perfect gusts of ‘cuss words.’” People were “horrified and awed at the bird’s lack of reverence.”

Sure, James Buchanan had two bald eagles, and Theodore Roosevelt kept a one-legged rooster. But nothing comes close to Poll The Parrot, owned by the man who had twelve spittoons installed in the White House.

That's another record that probably will not be broken.