I've been following Bob Dylan since forever, and if there's one thing that always stands out about the folky balladeer, it's that he is consistently inconsistent. This goes way back to when he was a pure acoustic performer, before he plugged in a band at the 1965 Newport Folk Festival. It's the hallmark of a good performer, and a good way to become legendary like Bob - always keep the audience wondering what's next.
Show business is part show and all business. Just ask anyone who is shelling out $700 for one ticket to see "The Music Man" on Broadway. You get the experience of seeing a true legend as Hugh Jackman struts across the stage as Professor Harold Hill. If that's what you want to do with $700, fine. We all saw on "CBS Sunday Morning" that there are people willing to pony up $250,000 to get in a mini submarine and drop in on the wreckage of the Titanic. Those who go will see the unmistakable bow of the great ship at rest on the Atlantic floor and know it's for real, and not some old sunken garbage scow.
We can't take it away from Bob Dylan that he has written and performed hundreds of great songs, too many even to think of listing here. But I'm throwing a penalty flag and walking off five yards against the wire-haired boy from Hibbing, not that he would even care what I think, but because he recently tried to cheat his fans, only to be caught and turn red.
Through his book publisher, Simon & Schuster, Dylan hawked 900 "personally hand-signed" copies of his new book, “The Philosophy of Modern Song.” Each copy set the purchaser back $599, but again, for a true believer, that's not too much to exchange for a true totem - the actual autograph of the author on a book he wrote.
The books sold out and were shipped a week or so ago, and it took two days of people proudly Instragramming pictures of their treasures before people started saying, "These signatures all look alike...."
It took two more days before Simon & Schuster acknowledged that complaints about the autographs actually being mechanical duplicates were true and legitimate.
“To those who purchased the ‘Philosophy of Modern Song’ limited edition, we want to apologize,” said a tweet from Simon & Schuster. “As it turns out, the limited edition books do contain Bob’s original signature, but in a penned replica form. We are addressing this information by providing each purchaser with an immediate refund.”
Such double-speak! Yes, it's Bob's autograph, but it isn't. The books were all signed by an autopen, a machine used by people who have to sign their names many times. (In high school, I looked into getting one for my father so he wouldn't get writer's cramp from signing so many letters from the school, but anyway...)
The people at Simon & Schuster have not learned much about crisis management, it would seem; their first response was to stonewall the criticism, saying, “We certainly understand any concerns you may have, however – Each individual copy of the limited signed edition of Bob Dylan’s THE PHILOSOPHY OF MODERN SONG was personally signed by the author and is accompanied by a letter of authenticity from the publisher of Simon & Schuster.”
Each book had been mailed with a letter signed (?) by Jonathan Karp, president and CEO of the publishing house, saying, “You hold in your hands something very special, one of just 900 copies available in the U.S. This letter is confirmation that the copy of the book you hold in your hand has been hand-signed by Bob Dylan.”
Within two days, the company buckled, with Karp emailing each purchaser to say, "We apologize for the mistake that was made and are offering a full refund of your purchase. Please keep your copy of ‘The Philosophy of Modern Song’ at no cost. We hope you will enjoy reading it.”
We who try to understand Dylan understand that confounding us is the basis of his game, as when he refused to accept a Nobel Prize or attend the ceremony involved, only to say later he was sorry about all that. But explaining is something he doesn't do...until now. From his Facebook:
“I’ve been made aware that there’s some controversy about signatures on some of my recent artwork prints and on a limited-edition of Philosophy Of Modern Song. I’ve hand-signed each and every art print over the years, and there’s never been a problem. However, in 2019 I had a bad case of vertigo and it continued into the pandemic years. It takes a crew of five working in close quarters with me to help enable these signing sessions, and we could not find a safe and workable way to complete what I needed to do while the virus was raging. So, during the pandemic, it was impossible to sign anything and the vertigo didn’t help. With contractual deadlines looming, the idea of using an auto-pen was suggested to me, along with the assurance that this kind of thing is done ‘all the time’ in the art and literary worlds.
“Using a machine was an error in judgment and I want to rectify it immediately. I’m working with Simon & Schuster and my gallery partners to do just that,” he concluded.
It does not take a "crew of five" to get books signed. Just deliver 900 books, and a handful of Sharpies to his house, and tell him you'll be back to pick them up when he's finished scrawling his signature on the inside cover.
It's disappointing to me that he did not write and record his 1/2-assed apology in the form of a song and release it as a special edition Holiday Gift To You on vinyl, cassette, CD or MP3, but I guess he can't think of every scam.
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