What the shell?

I've made some classic mistakes in my life, but I wish I had been smart enough to write down all the things (or even half the things) I heard while working at 911.

From real estate agents looking for the location of the great house they were trying to sell, to a woman who wondered if "going off with men" in return for household appliances constituted prostitution, to the kids wondering if school was open in the morning or who was James Buchanan's vice president (John C. Breckinridge).

Also, "who was James Buchanan?" and "how much is 9 times 8?" were samples of questions on the Homework Hotline, a/k/a 911.  Which is not to mention all the people who thought we were an offshoot of 411 ("Can you give me the number for ..."?) and the ones in the very early days of 911 service who called just to see if this new-fangled thing worked.

And of course, calls came in often about how the police BETTER get out here right away or someone was "gonna get smacked upside the haid" (that's Baltimorese for a violent blow to the temporal lobe). Or the old standby about someone parking in "my" parking spot on a public street, with or without snow in the way.

But I have to admit, this is a new one on me, from the bayou country down in Slidell, LA, where the local constabulary reports that a citizen called to report that a local Taco Bell had run out of both hard and soft taco shells. The department posted about the call on their Facebook page, calling it a “‘we can’t make this stuff up’ story.”

“Somebody called in to complain that the Taco Bell on Gause Boulevard ran out of both hard and soft taco shells,” the department wrote.

Sadly, the police weren’t able to help.

This is the Taco Bell in question. In case you find yourself in Slidell,
 you might want to bring your own shells.

“While this is truly a travesty, the police can’t do anything about this. Hopefully, they are replenished in time for Taco Tuesday!” the post concluded, hopefully.

The problem here, and I guess it's the same in Slidell, is that there is no other 1/2 decent taco carryout around. Chicken, burgers, pizza, there are plenty of other options.

And that is because the federal Department of Hamberder Choices makes sure of it.