'"And so, in conclusion..."

There are often incidents at graduations. People are told not to applaud each individual cap-and-gowner, or else you'll all be there until midnight. Some family members get there at 3 in the yawning to hold seats for the others who will arrive just as Elgar's "Pomp And Circumstance" starts pomping it up.

And there will always be a long-winded speaker who is just getting started as the grads in the back row start to doze off.  And the valedictorian who figures no one else ever made the point that "Commencement isn't the END of anything; it's the BEGINNING of all our adventures as we blah blah blah..."

But we have to hand it to one member of the class of 2019 at good old Towson University, right here in my home town. For all-around asininity, this guy (it HAD to have been a guy, right?) takes the cake.  Here is the official statement from the university:

Earlier today during a commencement ceremony, a graduating student released an unknown substance in celebration while walking across the stage. The ceremony continued as planned, as the student was removed and questioned by TUPD, and at no time was anyone in harm’s way. After the conclusion of the ceremony, out of an abundance of caution, Baltimore County Hazmat was called to the scene to investigate, and determined that the substance was not a hazardous material. We look forward to the continuing commencement celebrations and ask that all participants follow commencement safety guidelines to ensure everyone in attendance can enjoy this celebration of academic achievement.

Now, because this happened in America in 2019, it was discussed on Facebook, giving people the chance to show their complete lack of depth.  Because it did not take long before helicopter parents and laissez-faire bohemians started saying "Well, no one was hurt! and it was an honest expression of joy! So what the heck, huh?"

"What the heck is" that the university police and Baltimore County Hazmat units responded, which puts lives and property in danger as they roll to the scene, not to mention the possibility that someone else in the county would be in need of that crew and their apparatus at the time.

Not to mention that the other students being graduated and their friends and families were there to celebrate, not to have the afternoon turned into a melee. Given the current worldwide fear of mass incidents, it was not out of the realm of possibility that this could have turned into a stampede as people raced for the exits in fear of being poisoned or blown up or caught in a fire.

Word is, the bright student involved tossed a cup of cake mix in the air as a celebration.  That's why I said he takes the cake.

And of course, the university's failure to charge this clown with a crime only opens the door for someone in the class of 2020 to try to top him.

Say it again with me. What the hell is it with some people?