Three different stories

We talked before about this horror of a human being named Tyler Tessier, who is scheduled to stand trial in September for killing his pregnant girlfriend, high school teacher Laura Wallen.

Now, though, police are saying that so far (and they are counting!) Mr Tessier has offered three different scenarios to explain Ms Wallen's death:

1. She was ashamed for being pregnant and unmarried and asked him to help her disappear.
2. Some bad men kidnapped the two of them and killed her, but left him to live, being the wonderful valuable piece of humanity he is.
3. He and Laura were having an argument and she ran away from him, running right into a wooden post, apparently causing her own death. He then gallantly buried her, first shooting her to be certain he wasn't burying her alive.

To look at Tessier, you're probably surprised like I am to see that he has come up with three different ideas about anything beside how much spaghetti to slide down his neck.

Right about now, he would do well to worry less about his neck and more about his hand, since he has established that he had his gun in his hand.  Come to think about it, it might be too late for him to save his neck, anyway.


Now that he has admitted that he killed her, he has painted himself into quite a corner. Of course, there will be some sham of a trial, unless he changes his mind and pleads guilty, and then he will be sentenced.

I will say once again that I think that the death penalty, which has been ruled out in this state anyway, is the easy way out for a boil on the bottom of society like this man. He's going to be 34 this year, and even assuming that he's blessed with the good health and long life that he denied Ms Wallen, he still has three dozen years to sit in a poorly-ventilated, dim cell, eating sloppy oatmeal and surplus canned fruit, before he reaches his three-score-and-ten.

I wish him a long, long, long life.  And when he departs, he should take as much ice with him as he can.