Psychic Sidekicks

In my time in supermarket waiting lines over the years, I have been known to pick up those trashloid "news"papers to read interesting articles while I wait to pay for the Meow Mix.

Having read about a 1957 Chevrolet being found on the surface of the moon or adoption agencies selling shaved apes as babies or aliens landing in Delaware to assume roles as state senators, I can go on with life. But as I do, I always wonder about the headlines on those fishwraps that promise amazing predictions from "top psychics." As in, how does one become a "top psychic"? Is there some sort of wacko convention at which the selections are made from a list of people brave enough to foresee that some movie actor will get a divorce? Or that there will be some sort of weather emergency somewhere in America in the next six months?

Marco

Some people take their seers seriously. Up in New Jersey, a woman named Sally "Kim" Wando and her son Frank Marco, 24, stand accused of bilking some old dude from Waretown, NJ, out of thousands of his dollars. He was paying them to "rid him of evil spirits." 

Galloway Township police say the charges against Wando and Marco are second-degree theft by deception and conspiracy to commit theft.

The victim, whose name is not being released to protect what's left of his dignity, went to the cops on August 15 to report that his psychic was "cheating" him.

Wando

Apparently, he had gone to Ms Wando for a glimpse into his future, and she foresaw a future that included him shelling out $5,000 for an initial consultation - but that was just the entry fee.

She saw eight evil spirits in his life, you understand, and getting rid of them would require a 14-step program @ $10,500 per step - treatments to "cleanse his soul and allow him to live in peace," said the police in charging documents. 

The total was to be $147,700, a bargain any way you look at it, what with eight evil spirits running around. And when they were arrested, Wando and Marco said that money was for a car from Marco's auto dealership, not for some flakey psychic stuff, you see. But the police found that claim to be unsubstantial, since there was no car.

The mother and son team have been released pending court dates, which, I predict, will come soon. 

Actually, they might have gotten away with it had they told the man that TWO evil spirits were buzzing around him.